UK hun? Not after that elimination, I’m not.
It is a testament to this season, and honestly this series in general, that we started this episode at Final 7 and just about every elimination from now until the end is going to hurt. There’s one fairly obvious exception, and an additional debatable one, but I look at this group of queens and I am just astonished that for two seasons in a row, the Drag Race UK producers gave us such talented, gorgeous, endearing queens. When is the last time the US series gave us back-to-back seasons where we were rooting for more than half the cast? I will tell you: never. Literally never.
No foreplay this episode, we went straight to the penetrashe: Snatch Game. UK1’s Snatch Game had a few standout performances (The Vivienne, Baga Chipz). Could this one live up to that standard, especially with so many funny, charismatic queens? I’m afraid not. Two of our funniest girls fully choked, the middle-packers did…fine, and for reasons I don’t fully understand, one of the girls I thought was in the top landed in the Bottom 3.
Since there were only seven girls left, my quick thoughts on each of their performances:
Tia Kofi as Mel B/Scary Spice: Tia initially wanted to do Dame Shirley Bassey, and Ru directed her to go for what should have been an easier comic sell in Mel B. Unfortunately, Tia got stuck on Eddie Murphy dick — as so many prostitutes did in the 1990’s — and didn’t give us Scary or funny.
Sister Sister as Sally Morgan: Not familiar with the character, but I assume it’s like the British version of the Long Island Medium? Regardless, this was uninspiring, and what’s worse, you could tell that Sister was really trying. Since they’ve come back from quarantine Sister is clearly committing to being in the game. But none of it is landing. Everything feels forced. I feel for her, but I’m also frustrated that she skates by in the middle while other brighter stars are being snuffed.
Lawrence Chaney as Miriam Margolyes: Painfully bad. Lawrence is an international treasure and is effortlessly charming and funny. But I think she put too much pressure on herself — and I’m sure she felt pressure from Ru and the rest of production — and was longwinded and boorish. And Lawrence knew it. This was very “watch people die inside” and I hated to see it.
Ellie Diamond as Matt Lucas/Vicky Pollard: This was not a slam dunk, but it was good enough that I think Ellie could have placed in the top (note that there was only a Top 2 this time, instead of a Top 3) had her “PreHerStoric” runway been stronger. That’s the opposite for Ellie, who early in the competition was pulling out some strong looks but middling performances. This was a solid performance and a real whiff of a runway look. That said, I became much more fond of Ellie as she told her story of being kicked out of the house by her homophobic dad. I still don’t think she’s competing at the same level as most of the rest of this crowd, but she’s likable and she’s got lots of potential for someone so young.
Tayce as Jane Turner: I have literally no idea who Jane Turner is, but I thought Tayce was fully present in her character, gave Ru some good repartee, and acquitted herself the best she has in a performance challenge. She also ate that runway, and her mug was so beaten that it should have pressed charges. A good week overall for Tayce — but she’s still not pushing through to the top of the pack.
A’Whora as Louise Spence: I don’t know what the judges were watching. I thought A’Whora was great in the Snatch Game. Again, I don’t know Louie. But that was a complete character with great energy, and I saw very little of A’Whora there. Then she came out in one of the best looks of the night (was it reminiscent of Aquaria’s Bad Twin look from S10? Yes. Was it a very cool take on that concept? Absolutely). Confidential to A’Whora: ignore the judges. You were great tonight. Keep doing what you’re doing. You’re one of my secret favorites. Don’t tell anyone.
Bimini Bon Boulash as Katie Price: On the other hand, Bimini can tell everyone that she’s one of my favorites. This was a flawless episode for Bimini. Literally, not a single misstep from her. Charming in the work room. Absolutely slaughtered the challenge, giving a perfect Snatch Game character and slaying it with smart “stupid” jokes. And then coming out with what was easily the coolest, most interesting look of the night. If you told me in Episode 1 that the girl in the hooker boots, visible tuck tape, and adult-sized onesie would be one of the cleverest, most fashionable stars we have ever seen on this show, I would have said, “I’m vegan.” No but really, who the fuck saw Bimini coming? The other queens are all afraid of Lawrence, but Bimini is right there, and her lentils are TENDER, gals.
Bimini rightfully won the challenge, while my darlings Lawrence and Tina had to lipsynch for their lives to Cathy Dennis’ bop “Touch Me (All Night Long).” And the winner of the lipsynch was…RuPaul Charles, who was getting her LIFE on that judging panel. No seriously, I thought Lawrence put everything she had into that performance — although it was still not great (I think it’s fair to say Lawrence is not a lipsynch queen) — while poor Tia, restrained by her pterodactyl outfit, flapped into extinction.
In her farewell, you could tell how much RuPaul loves Tia Kofi. And who can blame her? Tia became a surprising favorite of mine this season, and the series will be so much poorer for having lost her. The looks may not have been there, but that is a queen with so much raw charisma, such quick wit, that the clothes honestly are purely incidental. I would pay to see a Tia Kofi show if she were dressed as an actual Twinings bag. I would watch her if she was dressed as Folgers instant crystals. That’s how much I like Tia.
Also, how dare this show have Jessie Ware as a guest judge (adorable) and not give us a Jessie Ware lipsynch? Go to your streaming service of choice and sample her excellent music.
Next week: a design challenge! Tayce has injured herself! Raven! More general faggotry!
How are you doing in our little pool? I’m writing this blog before the scoreboard OR the Bird Watch videos have been posted, since I’m taking the next week off for a much-needed vacation. Expect those updates by the end of this weekend in the Facebook group courtesy of Score Matron Michael Schwarz and Video Vixen Curtis Creekmore — who will be filling in for me as host of Bird Watch, with EXTRA special guest judge, Kevin Rice!
In the meantime, if you need me, in the immortal words of Lawrence Chaney: