RECAP: ‘Great British Baking Show’ Season 17, Episode 5
It’s Dessert Week, y'all!
Vast, arid wastelands. No water. Not even a sign of life for hundreds of mi—
OH. DesSERT week. Well, that’s different!
What will our remaining bakers construct to satisfy the judges' demanding sweet tooth? We start the week with a bittersweet absence in the tent. Though nothing is explicitly addressed on camera, Nikki has officially stepped away from the competition following the tragic passing of her mother. We remain deeply sad to lose such a bright light in the tent, and we continue to send her and her family hope, love, and healing.
Read on for my take on Episode 5 of “Great British Bake-Off” (AKA “Great British Baking Show” for us American swine) Season 17. SPOILERS AHEAD!
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The Signature: A Staggered Start for Self-Saucing SPuddings
The Challenge: Because a warm pudding is best served saucy, the bakers face a staggered start to deliver eight individual self-saucing puddings, with 10 minutes between each baker's clock.
The Lineup:
Up first, Gary (werk it, gurl!):
Gary: Chocolate. Orange. Espresso. Orange Cream whiskey. No faff. Just pure, ganachey goo lurking in the middle.
Clara: Dulce de Leche (or dulce delight in Portuguese—yes, I know that’s wrong, but that’s what it sounded like to me) puds.
Connie: Kinda boring chocolate-orange puds. Connie is relying on that body personality today.
Gabe: Again with the chocolate-orange, but make it boozy and snoozy. At least it’s a bit more interesting, and there are pajamas involved.
Mo: More chocolate, but topped with macadamia nuts and white chocolate. Mo claims he doesn’t get excited about anything "anymore." I’d love to know when a 25-year-old was last excited about something. I guess life just sucks the happiness out of you faster these days.
Moyin: MORE CHOCOLATE ORANGE. I’m bored, Moyin! And I don't care about your grandma!
Yannis: Apple strudel stuffed with currants and sultanas. He mentioned Austria again—DRINK!
Tom: No baby food here! Tom is mixing up a spicy, saucy apple-flavored oat crumble pud.
The Chaos & Drama: Tom casually reveals he once accidentally assaulted an elderly woman with a rolling pin. It’s a good story, Tom - stick to it!
We also learn from the hosts that nobody wants a "sloppy pud." Speak for yourself, Noel - that was my nickname during my semester abroad.
Connie neglects her timer, failing the female gender (of which there are only two left in the tent - and I only bring it up because it was brought up twice previously), and is still frantically de-panning when the judges march up to her bench.
The Signature Verdict:
Good: Gary’s… whatever (please excuse my boredom-boner); Tom’s interesting blobs (which earn a hilarious faux Paul Hollywood handshake from Gary); Mo’s tick-tick-tick delicious desserts; and in a massive twist, Connie - even with her de-panning nightmare - actually snags a real handshake!
Bad: Clara’s sad bowl of "heated liquid."
Somewhere in Between: Gabe’s grown-up flavor profile (though lacking liquid pud center); Moyin’s party-dress puddings that ended up overbaked.
Ugly: Yannis’s gummy, too-big, "generous" bakes.
The Technical: The Shrouded Pantry Returns!
The Challenge: A much-loved traditional pud: a delicious bread-and-butter pudding! Excuse me, WHAT?! This is not at all something we regularly eat in the U.S.
But much like our previous Gingham Pantry technical, the bakers get to add their own personal spin to the challenge. The twist? They only have a few minutes to raid the pantry and make some very important life choices.
…Wait, you’re just cutting up fucking bread?! And adding a custard? OH! It’s bread pudding! Okay, we do have that over here. We just don’t slather it in butter.
The Chaos:
Yannis decides to go with hazelnut, chocolate, and cherries. That’s quite a chaotic mix of elements.
Mo immediately regrets grabbing blueberries and pairs them with white chocolate for his "war recipe." To be fair, he isn’t wrong - this is the ultimate bottom-of-the-barrel dessert you make when you have literally nothing left in the cupboard.
Clara chooses a messy raspberry puree to use in what she describes as a "giant lasagna mess."
Every time Gary speaks, I legitimately have no idea what he is saying.
As the timer ticks down, Moyin’s glasses fog over like an anime villain. We desperately need more villains on this show. Give me Mistress Isabelle Brooks in the Bake Off tent!
The Technical Rankings:
At the bottom:
8th Place: Moyin (dry as dust)
7th Place: Yannis (just way too much going on)
6th Place: Mo
And at the top:
3rd Place: Clara
2nd Place: Connie (they absolutely loved the flavor!)
1st Place (Winner): Gary! He’s obviously smashed a few bread-and-butter puddings in his lifetime.
The Showstopper: Anything from the Trolley, Dears?
The Challenge: A particularly tricky one with a retro throwback: A Dessert Trolley Display! A beautiful collection of three different retro puddings. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage: Trolley Dolly!
The Highlights & Disasters: Nigella considers this the hardest challenge the bakers have faced so far: the brutal timing, the meticulous planning, the wild juggling act.
I do love the pure nostalgia of this challenge, though. The throwback photos they collected from the judges and bakers are so wonderful for connecting us to their backstories.
Connie leans hard into her family history with a gorgeous photo and story of her mother… and her undying love of trifles.
Yannis is told very clearly by Nigella that his flavors and textures must work, especially since he’s acting as the official representative of Dame Mary Berry.
Clara constructs a hideously radioactive-green hazelnut macaron. Michelle Visage is rolling over in her… bed.
Moyin is making a groundnut praline. What the fuck is a groundnut? Just any random nut you scoop up off the ground?!
Gary leans straight into 70s nostalgia with three retro-inspired desserts, including a treacle tart-flavored pud.
Mo’s sticky toffee trifle sounds DELICIOUS. I would absolutely hop on a flight to the UK right now just to eat that.
Tom - ever the overachiever and an apparent lightweight - is baking a boozy pavlova, a crème brûlée, and more, all served in adorable alcohol glasses. But after just one limoncello spritz, the gun fingers come out! I bet he’s a fantastic time at a party.
Meanwhile, Gabe, the literal drag queen, prefers a quiet night in, paying homage to… reading a book at home? With his bakes?! Sure!
In the final minutes, absolute insanity breaks out: Moyin is literally blowtorching his puds WHILE HOLDING THEM IN HIS BARE HANDS. Please, dear reader, never attempt this at home.
What a fun challenge! I genuinely hope we see this one again.
Judging Highlights:
Clara: Brrt brrt! That green color is… violent. The piping is well done on one of her bakes, but the overall result is cloying, and her macarons completely lack a foot.
Moyin: His profiteroles are P-P-P-flat. The Eton Mess tastes great, but is missing meringue throughout.
Mo: The trifle is light as air, while the tart is underbaked. But his mango creation was hailed as pure genius.
Yannis: His Black Forest wasn’t nearly German enough. The layers of his trifle are totally out of whack. His Sticky Toffee Pudding is neat, but dense.
Connie: The cherry trifle is delightfully retro and delicious. Her apple and pear pie desperately needed a custard sidekick. Her pineapple upside-down cake (a personal favorite of mine) had way too much cake and not nearly enough pineapple.
Gabe: A beautiful array! Texture was slightly off in a couple of bakes, but overall delicious.
Gary: Pure dessert trolley magic, but KIRSCH! He completely overwhelmed the bake with alcohol. "The raspberries have wept," mourns Nigella. Me too, Nigella. Me too.
Tom: I LOVE his presentation - the dessert glasses looked incredibly chic. Nigella declares it’s got camp and it’s got beauty, and I couldn’t agree more. While his brûlée layer was a bit too thick, his other bakes were an absolute celebration. "The ideal dessert," which Nigella swears she will be making at home.
The Final Verdict
Star Baker: In a complete shocker (at least to me), CONNIE emerges victorious! WERK IT, GURL!
Eliminated: After a rough week and a few tragic stumbles, we must say auf wiedersehen to Yannis. I will genuinely miss hearing about the beautiful country of Austria every single week. (Though if you’ve never been or tasted the food, you should absolutely go!)
Questions for Next Week
Who will be the next baker on the chopping block? Which country will get aggressively name-dropped next week? Join us next week to find out!
What do YOU think of “GBBO” Season 17? Drop your comments below!
