RECAP: Love Is Blind Season 9, Episodes 1-6
After the disastrous Season 8 focused on the deeply boring, feckless singles of Minneapolis/St. Paul, I put “Love Is Blind” on notice. The largely dull second season of “Love Is Blind UK” didn’t help – although its shockingly spicy reunion did. I am happy to say that the Denver-based Season 9 of “Love is Blind” is certainly more watchable than its predecessor season. While parts of the pod episodes felt interminable (mostly because of the men droning on and on), there was plenty of drama and some genuine shocks that have me hooked back into the show, even as I wonder if literally any of these couples will end up married at the end.
Below find my thoughts on each of the main couples, listed from who I think are the most stable, to the biggest trainwrecks. I will say overall that I think the series producers need to freshen up the approach to the pods. I don’t know if the novelty has worn off, or if newer casts are just better at playing to what they know the cameras want to see/hear, but these episodes are not nearly as interesting to watch as they were in the past. There was more than one moment in the first batch of episodes that I seriously considered fast forwarding because it was a whole lot of nothing going on. Time to shake it up!
SPOILERS AHEAD!
RELATED CONTENT
Best “Melrose Place” Character
“Sparkle” Megan and Jordan (and Mike)
The fact that I think this is the most “stable” couple is telling about how dire things are this season. But in terms of a genuine emotional connection, I think it’s tough to beat these two seemingly disparate people.
I initially rolled my eyes at the nickname “Sparkle Megan” – and for the record, she wasn’t even that sparkly in the pods – but I came to like Megan very much as the episodes rolled along. Totally rooting for her. I like Jordan quite a bit, too. I think he goes on a bit too much about his son, but at the same time, that’s obviously something he has to be forward about in this experiment. I wish he was more forward about his tattoo situation – I don’t get why he was playing coy about that. If Megan had NOT been into a fully tatted guy, it could have been a disaster, and Megan would have been in the right for feeling lied to.
I do think the two of them could be a great balance, but I also think the money/lifestyle differential here is absolutely massive, and both of them are going to have to do some major ego-checking for this to work out. I’m not sure that’s realistically possible. I also thought Megan’s reaction to Jordan getting hammered in paradise was telling. He shouldn’t have gotten that tipsy, but her irritation felt disproportionate. The guy was drunk. You think he’s going to have a rational discussion with you in that moment? Come on.
That said, Megan’s dilemma between choosing Jordan – a guy she would have never gone for in the real world – and Mike, the safe option who is the exact kind of man she has dated before, was a great spine for the pod episodes. I was initially very down on Mike. His talk of some kind of collective of Type-A corporate bros and talk of empire building was far too close to manosphere bullshit for my liking, and I repeatedly thought he was negging and manipulating Megan. However, for all his latent douchebag tendencies, I thought he was quite respectful when Megan ultimately cut him loose and chose Jordan instead. He displayed a level of understanding and chill that I frankly was not expecting from him. I still suspect he’s at least considered one of those “alpha male” boot camps, though.
Ali and Anton
I guess objectively these two present as the most locked-in as of Episode 6, but I still ranked them second because, frankly, I do not trust Ali at all. This is purely a gut reaction on my part. Anton seems totally smitten with her, and the other girls all seem to love her. But when there is a massive disconnect between the way a person describes themselves, and then all the behavior we see of them, I am immediately mistrustful. That’s the case with Ali, who described herself as tough and hard, and then proceeded to show virtually none of that (at least per the edit).
I also found myself repulsed at the conversation they had regarding the cost of her engagement ring, which Anton said was $5,000. She countered that a decent ring should be at least $10,000, as it is a symbol of a man’s commitment to his intended. To be blunt: fucking vomit. Maybe she was joking, but if so, it did not land.
I get that she’s originally from South America, and there are cultural implications when it comes to expected gender roles. I’m just never going to be cool with financial bullying due to “traditional” expectations (which did not exist even a century ago, and were largely created via the post-industrial diamond industry), but which in fact are actually about flaunting your status and belongings on social media. I believe that is the case with Ali. The preview for the rest of the season shows additional scenes in which she harangues Anton for not making enough money to keep her in the lifestyle to which she is accustomed, including her Botox. She is 29. Get a fucking grip, lady. Love may be blind…but it better not be poor, I guess.
Kalybriah and Edmond
First, let’s get out of the way: Kalybriah is amazing, and I love her. I’m not saying she’s without fault. There were a few moments – the fight about the theoretical guy putting hands on her, for instance – where I was like, “Ma’am, you are looking for a fight.” But in general, I think she’s the total package and I’m so rooting for her.
I totally get why she picked Edmond (and vice versa). There is obvious chemistry there, and I think he’s a sympathetic character to whom Kalybriah would be drawn. But Edmond is dealing with some serious arrested development, and over and over again his behavior bordered on childlike. It was charming at first – as I suspect it was for Kalybriah – but by the end of Episode 6, it had grown very, very old. I can deal with the enthusiastic screaming. I can deal with the dancing. But more than once he emotionally devolved to behavior I would associate with a 10-year-old, most shockingly that meltdown over Kalybriah refusing to have sex with him before marriage, which then became about him being “too nice.” My suspicion in that scene – which was genuinely so embarrassing for him, and her by extension – was that women have said that to him in the past to let him down easy, but the actual reason they won’t fuck him is that he really does act like a child. He’s an attractive guy, but that energy he puts out there would for sure turn me off.
I suspect these two will get to the altar, but Kalybriah will turn him down. And she should. He still needs a lot of healing and a lot of growing. And I don’t think Edmond will react well to that at all.
Annie and Nick (and Brennan)
Let’s be clear: none of the couples left on this list are likely to get married. But I guess Annie and Nick are the more functional of the two remaining, but only because Nick is more skilled at leading Annie on than his male counterpart in the other pairing.
I’ll start with Annie: she seems…fine. She is a hair-salon owner, and yet regularly appeared onscreen with the most raggedy locks of the entire cast. I don’t get it. Anyway, the triangle between Annie, Brennan, and Nick was far less compelling than other complicated situations this season, because I didn’t care about any of them. Annie is unobjectionable. Brennan is handsome and has great arms, but has no discernible personality. (“Describe the house we would live in. Tell me the color of the door.” That’s how you are using your time here?!) Nick is a “luxury watch dealer,” which should be a red flag on its own.
And yet, it got worse. I don’t know if we’ve ever had a man on any season of this show simultaneously gas up two girls so intensely. The closest I can think of is Jimmy and the single mom and the girl who said she looked like Megan Fox. But even Jimmy was not as blatant with his sales pitch as Nick was with Annie and Kait. I hope he gets grilled for this at the reunion, because I found it shocking how egregious this guy was. The cherry on the top: he dropped Kait and focused on Annie because Kait wasn’t Christian enough for him. As he’s sitting there telling two different women that he loves them and wants to spend the rest of his life with them, and assuring them he would never say anything like to anyone else. Diabolical!
I’m also going to say this: I don’t know Nick, I don’t know his life. But I do know that my Spidey Sense was tingling at numerous points with this guy. Let’s just say that the story in which Nick’s Mom asked him if he was gay as a teen carried a lot of weight with me. Again, I’m not accusing anyone of anything. I just think there’s some stuff going on in this situation that is ostensibly subtext, but reads to me as just text.
This relationship is doomed. I don’t think Nick is in any way genuine. About anything.
Madison and Joe
This poor girl. I don’t blame Madison for her constant questioning of Joe’s interest her, because she is clearly picking up the vibes this guy is putting out there. I was generally neutral on Joe in the pods. He is objectively one of the better-looking guys this season. I did find his response to Madison’s retinitis pigmentosa diagnosis worrisome, but I’m sure it was also a shock to him.
Unfortunately, whatever benefit of the doubt I had for Joe evaporated once they got to their vacation retreat. Joe did a lousy job of convincing Madison that he was physically attracted to her. In talking heads he was more forthcoming, saying that he’s typically attracted to “smaller women.” It’s at this point that I raise the alarming rise in size-ism I’m seeing with younger generations, and I blame social media plus the availability of and relentless advertising of weight-loss injections. It’s not even that Madison is “bigger” – she has what I would consider to be a curvy figure, but she is not a “bigger girl.”
Joe made things worse by getting absolutely hammered at the mixer, to the point of incoherence. The scene in which Madison came back to their bungalow to check on him, hours after he left to take a nap, was a rough watch. I don’t blame Madison for being freaked out by Joe’s behavior. Either he was WAY more drunk than he even appeared to be, or something else was going on there – the man did not appear lucid. As Madison questioned him, he got more and more irritated, and seemed especially upset at her suggestions that he got “fucked up”/wasted. I have to wonder if there’s an underlying issue there that he doesn’t want brought up on television.
Regardless, Joe is not a match for Madison, and gives off serious fuckboy vibes. The trailers have more or less spoiled what happens with this relationship, but I’m dismayed it even gets to the wedding-day stage. It’s pretty clear Joe is not interested in marrying this woman.
Kacie/Patrick/Anna/Blake
MESS. On the one hand, this is the kind of drama that keeps me coming back to the show. On the other, it was brutal to watch, especially for poor Patrick. I think he may be in the Top 5 most screwed participants in this “experiment.”
It all started out well enough, with Patrick in a burgeoning love pentagon with Kacie and Anna, the latter of whom was also vibing hard with Blake, who in turn also had something cooking with “Sparkle” Megan. There was great chemistry between Anna and both Blake and Patrick, but there seemed to be a breakthrough for Anna and Patrick when they both clocked that they were Asian American, and could understand the unique challenges that come from dating in largely white spaces. Things seemed to be building toward a proposal from Patrick to Anna – although Blake was still very much in the mix, with both Anna and Megan – until *POOF!* Anna was gone. Just walked out of the whole thing, without a word to any of the men.
I’ve seen some online speculation about what happened with Anna. They did include a talking head of her saying that her conversations with Patrick and Blake made her realize that while she has always judged men harshly when dating, this made her realize she was part of the problem as well. She also mentioned how close she is to her parents, and how much she missed them doing the experiment – and how they would not approve of her being part of it. Less charitable takes are that Anna went on the show potentially with a relationship back home, but started to catch feelings for one or both guys, and she bolted before it got too real. I hope she comes to the reunion so she can explain herself. She was probably the most likable person in this cast.
Anna’s disappearing act set off a cascading set of events that fucked up at least one couple, if not two. After Anna left, both Patrick and Blake were shocked. They handled her departure in different ways. Blake took it as a reason to just quit the experiment as well, ghosting “Sparkle” Megan – who had been referring to him as her No. 1. (Blake would have been a totally safe pick for Megan; he seemed like a generally nice guy, but we did not see a hint of the chemistry she has with Jordan). Patrick meanwhile decided that after being ditched by Anna, he had to put all of his eggs into the Kacie basket, and you could basically watch him force himself to get on board on that relationship, even though it seemed pretty clear that both of them knew it was not going to work.
And boy, did it not work. My read on those tense post-Anna pod convos between Patrick and Kacie is that we were watching two desperate people trying to psyche themselves up about the other person. I suspect Patrick was very hurt by Anna, reeling from the abandonment, and also feeling the bitter sting of rejection that he shared was common for him as an Asian man. Kacie is more complicated. I’m not convinced Kacie was on the show for the right reasons. She comes across as a deeply superficial person – everything about her appearance feels fake, from the bleached hair to the aggressive tan to the implanted body jewelry. I do believe she is insecure. I do believe she has been treated poorly by men in the past. But I also do not think Kacie is looking for the kind of connection that this show is predicated on. Looks DO matter to Kacie. I suspect they matter an awful lot.
After one of the most excruciating engagement sequences in the show’s history – after which both Kacie and Patrick seemed completely awkward and Patrick in particularly was filled with nervous, unfocused energy – we got footage of Kacie at the women’s hotel informing the producers that Patrick deserves someone who would love him fully, and that wasn’t her. I think Kacie was trying to choose her words very carefully through all of this – trying, and failing – because she didn’t want the viewer perception to be that she was dumping Patrick because he’s Asian, and she wasn’t attracted to him. But that’s precisely how it looks to this viewer.
And it’s wild, because I think Patrick is an attractive guy. I have never understood the idea that Asian-American guys are somehow “less than.” I get that there are different strokes for different folks, but that has always confused me. I can’t help but feel awful for Patrick in particular. He was nervous about telling Kacie about his ethnicity, because he has been discounted because of it in the past. She assured him in the pods that it would not be an issue for her or her family (tokenizing her siblings’ multicultural partners in the process). And then they meet and she’s like…nah.
But she wasn’t even like “nah.” If the engagement sequence was awkward, Kacie’s departure scenes were even worse. She was a babbling, incoherent mess as she sobbed to Patrick that she needed to go home and couldn’t keep doing the show. He asked her a few times if she just didn’t want to film the show – which he was fine with – or if she was breaking up with him. She would not or could not give him a clear answer. Even if he could have parsed her confusing words, her actions were contrary in the most over-the-top way: she literally physically jumped on this man, wrapped her legs around him, and kissed him repeatedly. As she was in the process of dumping him, while not SAYING she was dumping him. It was CRAZY.
I’ve seen some people online slap at Patrick for being desperate, clueless, and going for someone who was “out of his league.” First, I disagree with that last part – I don’t think they’re mismatched on the attractiveness level, especially if you strip Kacie of the various artifical processes she has used to enhance her beauty. Second, that’s literally the point of this show – and he didn’t even know what she looked like. Was he desperate by the time he proposed to Kacie? Yeah, he was. I think that Anna situation really fucked with his mind. I don’t blame him. To be ghosted in such a traumatic fashion, on a nationally televised show, with no access to his support system from home – I cannot blame him for behaving in a way that seems irrational. And for the record, if you’re reading this Patrick, you are a handsome guy, and seem like a real catch.
As for Kacie: if I were in her shoes, I wouldn’t be caught dead at the reunion, because she is going to get SAVAGED. If you’re not into your chosen fiancee, be direct. It’s happened on this show before. I think it’s happening with at least one of the other couples this season. Be kind, be thoughtful, but be honest about what you’re feeling. Kacie did none of that. She gassed up that man (the sex talk from all the couples was cringe inducing, but the Kacie/Patrick sex talk made my genitals retract into my body) and refused to tell him what was really going on, leaving him dangling and thinking there was a possibility they would continue their relationship in the real world. It is cowardly. It is cruel. It speaks to the nature of her character. I do think Kacie has been a victim in relationships in the past, but none of that forgives her behavior here. She should be ashamed of herself. (BTW I do think she’ll be on the reunion. She may be contractually obligated, but more than that, I think Kacie wants to be famous and yearns to be on TV. I have to assume she’ll be on “Perfect Match” in the near future. She’s made for it. Not a compliment.)
What are your thoughts on the first act of Season 9? Do you think ANY of these couples will actually get married? SHOULD they? Drop your thoughts in the comments, then check back next Monday for our recap of Act 2. It’ll be a little late as I have a travel wedding to attend this weekend, which will hopefully be less dramatic than this show.
What did you think of Love Is Blind Season 9? Who do you think will make it to the altar? Drop your thoughts in the comments.
