RECAP: Love Is Blind Season 9, The Weddings (Episode 12)
I have not kept up on recapping Season 9 of “Love Is Blind.” Not because I haven’t enjoyed it — it’s a FAR more watchable season than 8 — but because I just haven’t had the time. But best believe that I have been binging the new episodes as soon as they arrive on Wednesdays.
I said when we were leaving the pods/arriving in paradise that I felt this could be the first season in which absolutely nobody ended up married by the end. And — SPOILER ALERT! — that hunch proved correct. By the beginning of the wedding episode we had three couples still engaged, although only two of them actually made it to the altar. And of those two, I don’t think either of the women showed up on their wedding day with any intention of saying, “I do.” Which is fucked up! But I’m sure they were also heavily pressured by the show to make it to the wedding itself. I don’t think the season would have been satisfying if none of the couples actually walked down the aisle.
Read on for my take on the three couples and two weddings covered in Episode 12, and then read further for my thoughts on the couples that imploded between Episode 7 and Episode 11. I’ll say this: credit to the editors this season for doing a good job showing almost every member of the main couples in both good and bad lights. People who I initially disliked or found challenging in the first clutch of episodes had some humanizing moments in subsequent episodes, while the people I was rooting for early on (mostly the women) ended up crashing out in one way or another. While almost all of them were messy in one way or another, there were very few 100 percent “villains” this season.
Except for Joe. He’s an ass.
SPOILERS AHEAD!
RELATED CONTENT
Best “Melrose Place” Character
Ali and Anton
The couple I was least invested in this season took up a good chunk of the episode, but the whole time they were leading us through the wedding day, I never felt like Ali was ever going to say yes. In her defense, the drinking that emerged with Anton after they got back from paradise was a serious red flag. I don’t blame her at all for being wary of that. It’s possible that the show exaggerated the amount that Anton was drinking off camera. I don’t know. I can only go by what the show gave us, and based on that, I would have been worried, too.
That said, I don’t think Ali would have said yes even if Anton had been the picture of sobriety. She made multiple comments about her financial expectations for a partner, and it was never clear to me if she was joking or being serious. Given the convo she was having with, I assume, her friends at the bachelorette party, I’m even less inclined to believe she would have ever been cool being married to him. I think she said all the right things for the cameras, but at the end of the day, I think Ali absolutely wants a man who can provide her with a lifestyle optimized for social media. I think that’s her priority. I saw nothing in these episodes that made me think differently. I assume she’s going to try to parlay this into a career as an influencer. That may have been her plan the whole time. I’ll just say, the world could use more truck drivers, and fewer influencers. I am dead-ass serious when I say that.
I’m not even a particularly big fan of Anton. He’s handsome, and he seemed to treat Ali well. But he had no discernible personality. If the top things you can say about your chosen partner come back to them being hot and having children and being great parents, I worry about what that says about you and your own sense of self.
Kalybriah and Edmond
I was a big fan of Kalybriah for most of these episodes, but I saw a lot of pushback against her on social media. People apparently thought she was fake (faker than Ali? I don’t think) and too hard on Edmond. But like…no. I knew from the Mexico trip that this relationship was doomed, and I wanted Kalybriah to run far, far away. I actually loved her multiple Come to Jesus meetings with Edmond, in which she clearly stated the many ways he was fucking up. You can’t say she didn’t make her feelings known, in real time. But Edmond is not capable of being a good, adult partner to anyone. Chronologically he may be an adult, but emotionally he is VERY stunted. We saw that clearly when Kalybriah turned him down at he altar.
Listen, I’m sure that’s an awful moment for anyone. Being rejected not only in public, in front of your friends and family (but not his mother, which I thought was SO telling — I was uncomfortable every moment that woman was on the screen) as well as millions of viewers on Netflix, must be brutal. But his reaction was exactly the way I would expect a child to react if he lost out on something he really wanted. I don’t think we’ve ever seen anything like Edmond on this show. I’m stunned he passed the psych eval.
I don’t think Edmond is a bad guy, at all. I just don’t think he is emotionally prepared for this show — which is challenging and stressful in the best of times — and I genuinely don’t think he is emotionally capable of being in a serious adult relationship. In the words of RuPaul, “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love someone else?” Amen, Ru. Edmond don’t love himself. He has a very deep, very visible wound that he carries around with him, and I think he needs to do a LOT of work before he’s ready to be anyone’s husband. I wish him the very best, I do. I think he’s a good guy. He’s just a broken person.
Kalybriah deserves more than being a mother to her husband. And that’s what this situation would have been. Nobody got time for that, babe.
“Sparkle” Megan and Jordan
I liked Megan and Jordan quite a bit. They weren’t perfect, either as individuals or as a couple. (The grilled chicken smoothie — raise your hand if you were personally victimized by Jordan’s crimes against blenders.) But I was rooting for them to make it. I knew when the show was taking its sweet time stretching out the pre-wedding convos for the first two ceremonies, that something was not right with this situation. And indeed, Megan dumped Jordan on the couch before they even got to the wedding day.
In some ways I’m sure that was the better option not only for Jordan, who was spared the emotional rollercoaster of being jilted at the altar, as well as the emotional fallout that would have come from putting his young son through all of that. But it was still pretty shitty. I’ve largely been Team Megan this season, but sister’s stock plummeted with this episode. Basically she realized that she didn’t like that Jordan couldn’t afford to just fuck off and do whatever any time he pleased, because that’s the lifestyle to which she has become accustomed. Um, like, great? That’s the barometer for a successful partner for you? Get some other bougie trash to join you on your impromptu weekday adventures. It all feels super shallow and disingenuous of her.
Because, as Jordan himself said to her, he was upfront about all of this in the pods. He lied about his tattoos — which were a non-issue for Megan anyway — but he was really clear about his situation with work, money, and his kid. In no reality should Megan have left the pods thinking, Yes, this is the man who will be capable of just fucking around with me whenever I feel like it, because I am loaded and detached from normal, everyday American life. She said that she didn’t realize how hard it would be in reality to, I guess, be with a normie. What privilege! Seriously, how embarrassing for her. She comes out of this episode looking truly clueless and borderline cruel.
I say cruel, because it wasn’t just Jordan who she jerked around here. There was a kid involved, and that should be sacred ground. Jordan obviously wanted to share his kid with his match, but that involved so much trust on both Jordan’s part, and his kid’s (and the kid’s mom). So for Megan to just be like, “Eh, yeah. I’m not really down to live like The Poors after all” — big yikes, ma’am. Huge.
Like Ali, I also suspect Megan did this with at least a secondary purpose of becoming an influencer in the health and wellness space. That seems to be what her business interests are. Good luck to her after this episode, because I bet she’s being torn apart on social media, especially by single parents. And frankly I don’t blame them. (But I hope people are at least being sane about it. I’m sure they’re not.)
Madison and Joe
This couple went bust after the dress shopping/suit fitting segment, which was honestly episodes too late. It was very clear from at least Mexico that Joe was not into Madison. He even said as much to the cameras, but continued to lie to her about it. Credit to Madison for reading the room, because she seemed to sense this, and frequently pressed Joe on what was going on between them. I’ve seen people online saying this was annoying, desperate, pick-me behavior. But if you can feel in your gut that your partner is pulling away, or in Joe’s case, never fully on board, I can’t fault her questioning at all. Especially not in this situation, where they were set to get legally married within weeks.
To me, Joe comes off worse than pretty much any other man this season specifically because of the mixed messages. He would turn on the charm and the high beams when meeting Madison’s family or introducing her to his, saying all the right things. But in private, he was a totally different person — at least, based on what we saw. He seemed cold, distant, and again, just not into her. It should be noted that his apparent lack of attraction to Madison — who is a beautiful woman! — did not prevent him from having sex with her.
I especially felt for Madison in the break-up scene. I think she knew in her heart it was coming. I even suspect they had actually broken up earlier, off camera, and had to reenact the scene for cameras. But when she kept pressing Joe for a reason, he gave her nothing. Absolutely nothing. Just, “I am not feeling it.” That is cowardly on his part. I feel awful for Madison rewatching this, and seeing how cold and direct about the relationship Joe was in talking heads post-Mexico, compared to how avoidant or misleading Joe was when the two of them were around other people in particular. I’m not sure if it’s sociopathy, or Joe just being a run-of-the-mill fuckboy who is incapable of behaving like an adult. Por que no los dos, I guess. Anyway, I look forward to Joe getting dragged at the reunion. He deserves every bit of it.
Annie and Nick
Speaking of people who are going to have rough reunions, let’s talk about Annie. Going into the second batch of episodes, I was concerned for Annie in this relationship, because Nick seemed disingenuous and more than a little sketchy. By the time they broke up in Episode 11, my opinions had completely reversed.
I actually came to like Nick quite a bit in the second and third batches of episodes. I still think there’s stuff going on there beneath the surface. I find it interesting that most of the other pod mates similarly found him untrustworthy and calculated. But the way he handled an increasingly irrational Annie was impressive. Between him with Annie and Kalybriah with Edmond, we got a master class in functional adults navigating emotionally stunted or maladjusted partners. It made for riveting television, and even though I don’t know these people and will probably never meet them, I was genuinely proud of the way Nick and Kalybriah stood up for themselves in their very different, but still very toxic, situations.
When we were in the Mexico episodes, I thought the most embarrassing part of this experience for Annie would be being a professional hairdresser who showed up on TV with one of the most poorly groomed coifs I’ve ever seen on this show. But then we got back to Denver, and that was revealed to be the least of her problems. Sister has major issues. Again, we can only go by what the edit shows us, and so much is left on the cutting-room floor. But on multiple occasions Annie just seemed to go totally off the rails and start making wild, overly dramatic statements about Nick and the state of their relationship. To me, these read as bouts of serious melancholia, where she would just…unravel and sink into these bouts of irrational depression.
At first, Nick tried to guide her out of it, while simultaneously not falling for the placation trap that emotionally manipulative people — as I believe Annie is — try to navigate people into. Nick never took responsibility for Annie’s wild mood swings, and he shouldn’t have. Those are Annie’s issues, not his, and based on what we saw, she was inventing problems for them to have and picking fights, for whatever reason.
We’ve seen a lot of cringe-inducing shit on this show, but I think Annie’s reaction to Nick breaking up with her is Top 5 material. As he was calmly explaining why he couldn’t continue in the relationship, Annie was melting down, at one point saying something to the effect of, “What you want doesn’t matter; I chose you, so that’s it.” Ma’am that is FULLY CRAZY. As I write this, Annie’s exes are coming out of the woodwork to comment on her past and her general behavior. This is the part where I wonder why someone with that track record would come on any TV show. Out of everyone in this cast, I think Annie, Joe, and Kacie are going into this reunion with the most heat on them. And I don’t think any of them will be capable of taking criticism well.
Patrick/Anna/Kacie
Speaking of Kacie, I haven’t debriefed on the revelations about that love triangle that came out at the rodeo party in the second group of episodes. Patrick showed up and shared that Kacie refused to see him after they parted at the women’s hotel following their engagement in the pods. More than that, she refused to return the engagement ring he gave her, saying that it was a symbol for her or some such shit. There’s been a lot of discourse around who pays for the rings this season. Based on what I’ve read, the show does in fact pay for the engagement rings, but the men have the ability to pay for customized rings. I don’t know if Patrick paid extra, and frankly I don’t think it matters. Kacie accepted that ring under false pretenses. She did not pay for it, surely. Someone else did. So for her to refuse to give it back because of what it “symbolizes” for her is nonsense. Kacie is a gross person who is pretty clearly on the grift, any way she can get it. She’s fake inside and out. I’ll be glad to never see her on my TV again.
As for Patrick and Anna, they reunited at the rodeo party, where any respect I had for Anna evaporated completely. She didn’t take any responsibility for ghosting Patrick (and Blake!) in the pods; I don’t even think she apologized for it properly. Instead, she got defensive and dismissed Patrick’s feelings for her by saying, “If you really loved me, you wouldn’t have gotten engaged to someone else.” All of you were in this experiment knowing exactly how it worked. Anna too had more than one connection with whom she apparently had very serious feelings. She ditched both without any kind of explanation, and now acts like she’s morally superior because one of them went on without her? How brazenly narcissistic of her. Are you telling me that, if Patrick had ghosted her, she wouldn’t have accepted Blake’s proposal? Highly dubious. Anna is a hypocrite and frankly I’m embarrassed for her.
As for Patrick, I’ve been disturbed by the discourse I’ve seen about him on social media, specifically Reddit. I’ve seen him called desperate, pathetic, and delusional about his level of attractiveness. As I said in my previous blog on this season, I don’t think any of us can fully appreciate how much this situation fucks with people’s minds, and I really do think Anna walking out sent this guy into a full-blown spiral, which pushed him directly into the path of the utterly desperate Kacie. Should he have forced himself to propose to her just to stay in the experiment? Probably not, but I don’t think he was in any kind of an emotional state to make good decisions. Am I giving Patrick passes I am not giving to some of the other people this season? I am. I think he’s been given a raw deal and I’m rooting for the guy. And seriously, he’s a perfectly attractive man. I don’t get why people are being so gross about him, but it sure has been a real-time example of the kind of anti-Asian discrimination Patrick himself spoke about on the show.
What are your thoughts on Season 9? Were you bummed that none of the couples got married this season? Drop your thoughts in the comments. I have to go to ANOTHER wedding this weekend, featuring decent people who actually love each other.
