RECAP: Project Runway Season 22, Episode 1
Hello, designer watchers! I’m taking over for Eric as your recapper on this. Do I have fashion knowledge? Not really, but I’ve been watching this show for years, and I’m a homosexual with opinions. You’re welcome.
We’re back and bigger than ever, but will immediately be normal-sized because we only have 10 episodes to find fashion’s newest voice. The season preview gives us the classic line drops and makes us all feel old and exhausted already. What do you mean Christian Siriano won when one of these designers was 12? What do you mean someone is called Grandpa? What do you mean the twins from last season are back (not as contestants, but any minute they’re on my screen is too long)?
Read on for my take on “Project Runway” Season 22, Episode 1. SPOILERS AHEAD!
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The Introductions
We start our journey of meeting the designers in Lower Manhattan’s weirdest building The Brontosaurus — excuse me, The Oculus.
(For one of my many jobs, I walk through The Oculus, and I am so annoyed that I have no idea when they filmed this. I’m there super frequently. Call me next time, Christian.)
Up on a balcony, we see Heidi Klum and Christian, and let me just say that Heidi looks incredible. I feel like there’s been some annoying scuttlebutt about her body because she’s gained weight, but lay off: what she’s gained is life. Lady is 53 years old and stunning.
A dozen designers are in a corral, and nine more arrive — Heidi yodels and last season’s Joseph McRae comes back. He’s still delightfully delusional, and I’m still tired.
The introduction of the first challenge is here! Bring one look from home, and as Christian says, “This is a look that you guys have made: like, no time constraints, no budget limitations, no restrictions. So there can’t be any excuses. None!” and honestly I love this. Show us why you’re here. Make big and bold choices. I love it. And we learn there will be six winners (what’s the twist that’s coming?) and six eliminated designers.
We get a handful of talking heads, but there are so many people, and honestly, who has the time? Here are my highlights:
Varvara Bobby: Russian; Slavic stare; exhausted by Americans not being able to speak
Q Robby: Drag Race; theatrical couture
Plane Jane: Drag Race; House of Villains; diseased and trifectious
Jennifer: Poison Ivy and Christian’s reason to drink
Bi(tch): masc for masc in sparkle mesh
Bryan: shorts and a t-shirt and refuses to acknowledge his age; ego to make Freud drool
Anna: Navy kid; uses moldy shower curtains and chewed gum
Chloe: Utahan; Mormon; divorcee
Dani: likes the 1890s and the 1990s; likes all of the things
Joseph McRae: still a lot; still does too much
Jeffrey: beauty queen; in denial about his eye color
The Work Room
Christian enters the workroom to bring the models and challenge everyone’s taste level. And I know it’s been said before, but Christian is a wonderful mentor. He has such a good eye and genuinely wants to help the designers. So did Tim Gunn, but Christian, as “Project Runway”’s golden child, brings such a freshness to this show.
We get the first taste of one of our indelible rivalries for the season: Bi and Bryan. They’ve worked together, or as a boss and intern, or first assistant. They’re gay and mean, and I’m gay and tired.
Christian is forever the best thing about the workroom: why are you dressing her in leaves; why are you dressing her in spikes; are you sure it’s perfect; give her a waist; why is she in a hat; wow; you’re a baby.
And suddenly we’re on the runway. Or at least the judges are. The designers are still in the workroom so the judges can judge this first impression as blind as possible. Let’s see if I can do this.
Our judges this season: stylist and professional mean girl Law Roach; Elle Magazine Editor, “Runway” mainstay, and taste goddess Nina Garcia; supermodel and smize-queen Tyra Banks and her gloves. But not a single designer. I was not a fan of Zac Posen as a judge, but at least he knew all about how to design and make clothes. And these three (plus Heidi) are at the tops of their games in the fashion industry, but give me someone who designs, please.
Anyway.
The Runway
Here we go. 22 times.
Andriy Volkov (and model Anna): it’s a full black look with a lot of fabric; all of the judges “kinda like this” and Law thinks there’s “a client for it for sure.” The back of the jacket is what strikes me the most. Cutouts are usually hit or miss with me, but these are kind of a “well, they’re kinda cool.” But I didn’t think the skirt matched what was happening up top. I’m not sure where this girl would be going, but I’d definitely take notice.
Bobby Diakonenkova (and model Friday): a long, bright teal dress that’s been puffed and quilted, with a Peter Pan collar, short sleeves, and black bars painted down the front. It’s a gorgeous color on Friday, and I do like it a lot. I can only imagine she’s going to a ball in Aspen in February or November.
Bao Tranchi (and model Natalia): a flowy peach gown that almost melts into the skin of her model, Natalia. There are some cutouts on the abdomen that honestly distract me, and I (fashion guru that I am) have never been a fan of the juxtaposition of fabric mirroring the hips (hips go out, fabric goes in, why?). Tyra thinks Nicole Kidman or Margot Robbie would wear this. It’s absolutely a red carpet dress for a movie that’s probably going nowhere.
Yangyang Xu (and model Rain): I am so intrigued by this dress; the almost iridescent green underneath of a black … what are those, bats? Butterflies? No one knows, Heidi … overlayer. I would fully take notice of her on the street as she heads to dinner.
Joseph McRae (and model Christina): he’s back again and back on his shit. The judges immediately clock it, and Law is unhappy. I like his bold prints. But I just don’t think this is tasteful. And that hat is a dumb choice. This model looks like she’s going to celebrate Juneteenth with Nancy Pelosi.
Chloe Magleby (and model Kara): this red lacy backless gravity-defying two-piece is really gorgeous. And maybe because it feels so reminiscent of things I’ve seen before, it still feels fresh. This girl could be going to either a club in the spring or a picnic in the summer.
Andrea Moore Beaulieu (and model Roberta): the producers did her dirty here; they gave us her package before seeing her garment, and everything in her package was cool (I’m still thinking about that sheer red number the male model was wearing) … and then she gives us a woman in yoga pants with her mat wrapped around her shoulders. I was so excited for Andrea after her intro … alas. She’s going to yoga, and wants everyone to know it.
Naheim Muhammad (and model Isaiah): maybe it’s because I’m a male homosexual, but I really enjoyed this jumpsuit. Like, it didn’t give us anything new or exciting, but I wanna see what he can give us. And that man can go anywhere he wants in that jumpsuit.
LRÉ the Artist (and model Janine): this is another person in the lane of Andrea: a super cool package and then gives us … whatever this is in a stiff brocade. This model is probably going to a furniture store to match couch fabrics.
Robby Crone (and model Anastasiia): this drag queen gave us baby drag, and I’m being generous. This look is giving me girl-who-was-rejected-by-the-vampires in “The Lost Boys” because she was trying too hard. Always a familiar; never a vampire. She’s probably wearing this to Staten Island to try to find Nandor and Gizmo. Even Robby clocks that the judges are confused.
Octavius Terry (and model Erik): I full gasped when this game out. I love menswear that plays with femininity. If Colman Domingo or Harvey Guillen would wear it, I automatically love it, and I think either of those fabulous men would wear this look. Hey, Joseph and LRÉ, please take note: this is how you use a bold pattern tastefully. Nina thinks it’s just okay, not terrible. Law thinks it’s heavy (like he didn’t see the way those pants flowed off his legs). He’s absolutely accepting some award somewhere, and everyone will always be looking at him.
Aaron Potts (and model Khoudia): there is something super intriguing about this pure white tent of a dress. Aaron calls his own dress quiet, and I don’t know what he means by that. That much white is such a bold statement. It’s like evening athleisurewear. Nina knows it’s simple, but it’s dramatic and pure. She’s going to a dinner hosted by Peloton.
Jeffrey Kelly (and model Jessica): this is a look. It’s a whole-ass look. It’s like if Boticelli’s “The Birth of Venus” came to life but decided she was somehow both demure and dramatic. It’s bold. It’s eye-catching. It’s drag. And this is a fashion competition. Law thinks it’s ugly, and he’s not that far off. She’s going to release dead oysters from her bosoms as the “RuPaul’s Drag Race” finale.
Jude Mikulencak (and model Rebecca): while this fabric is a quiet heather gray, I really think this tailored coat is lovely. The more I look at it, the more I love it. But also so long as I don’t look at the ruffles. It’s clear this man loves tailoring (he told us so in his package earlier). Nina clocks the tailoring (and the model’s hair). Rebecca’s gonna meet us for lunch, where you’re going to give her everything she wants and then some.
Bi Pham (and model Briana): I’m honestly so glad he took Christian’s advice of just sending the jacket because it was the best part of his look. The sleeves are daring and just on the tasteful side of cartoonish. Everyone loves the sleeves. (Rival Bryan hates it, but that’s because he’s a hater…and wrong). She’s off to dinner in the fall, and she only eats at restaurants with coat checks.
Dani Bennett (and model Anastasia): I don’t know what to say about this gold look. She thought she was giving us Cyndi Lauper at the VMAs, but I’m getting more Cindy from Wichita asking to be swept away to Oz. None of this look makes sense. Nina thinks she’s a pirate lady, and now that’s the only thought in Tyra’s head (the gloves don’t have an opinion). This poor model is gonna go stand in a wheatfield and wonder what went wrong.
Plane Jane (and model Lexii): Ma’am. What are we doing? A flesh-toned sparkly bodysuit with danger spikes everywhere? First: if your bodysuit doesn’t look better than Britney Spears’s iconic bodysuit, re-evaluate, because she’s the standard. And this spiked chastity belt and nipples? Like, if you were saying something about femininity, then fine; but don’t pretend that this is fashion. It’s drag, absolutely. But fashion? Ma’am. Everyone hates this look. Tyra is curious what’s gonna happen next week, but Law ain’t. This girl is gonna try to go to Medieval Times, but will ultimately leave because she can’t sit down. Also: if Plane Jane doesn’t use “Hit Law in the jaw, bitch” in a song, she’s making bad choices. That’s a bar.
Jennifer Daniels (and model Sarah): a former “Project Runway” model and now a designer. Good for you, girlie. But let’s talk about your look, which you admitted was a costume for you as Poison Ivy. It’s a costume, and Nina has seen it before. I won’t be following this girl to her costume party the night before Halloween.
R’Bonney Nola (and model Kylie): another two-piece that’s been patched together. Thrilled to have a former Miss Universe on the show, but the judges are bored with this look, and rightfully so. We’ve seen it so many times. Even that massive hood couldn’t bring me to wow. This girl is just taking a stroll in the village, hoping to be noticed, but ultimately not.
Elizabeth Shevelev (and model Badu): a scrunchy, textured pink dress that is super cute. Elizabeth has taste, and we’re glad for that. I’m ready to see more from her, though. But I’m not getting enough currently to form any cutting or glowing opinions. Heidi loved this dress. I’ll see her at a fancy dinner at the Met later, I’m sure.
Anna Molinari (and model Amanda): here we have our upcycle girlie using soda pop tabs as chains on her dress. I absolutely want to see more from her, and want to know what she can do with conventional materials. Not as a read, just as a curiosity. Gonna follow this girl to either an S&M club or a Ren Faire, and I’m not sure which. Or both!
Bryan Barrientos (and model Jessica): Oh look. It’s the return of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, and she’s come to take revenge on Bill Murray. I do not get this jacket. It’s all white (like Aaron’s), but it doesn’t hit me the same way. It’s got the ribs (like Bobby’s), but it doesn’t hit me in the same way. And the back of this is…just wrong. Thank the fashion goddesses that Christian convinced him to get rid of that hat. Heidi likes it, and I’m just confused. I’ll notice this lady on the streets and be confused why she’d wear this enormous jacket with absurd sleeves anywhere besides a Dr. Seuss kink night.
The Winning Looks
Six models are brought out, and we immediately get talking heads about how these are the bottoms because Bryan’s white comforter jacket is there.
Alas. These are the six winning looks.
Apparently these looks aren’t very good. They’re divine.
Bryan: Tyra thinks this looks like a fashion marshmallow that she wants to devour. Heidi loves the shape and size. Devour to get rid of, please? Designer Jude is confused, though, because it’s not his taste and just looks like pillows. DISAGREE!
Bobby: Nina thinks it’s absolutely stunning, while Law thinks it’s over-accessorized (he’s not wrong). Remove the headband, and it’s much better. AGREE!
Elizabeth: Heidi loves the fabric. Nina gave a bravo! Designer Bao thinks it’s a craft project. Law thinks that strap across the back is needless, and I hate agreeing with him, but I do. OKAY FINE!
Chloe: Tyra is confused by how the back works (Law has already said it’s just elastic). Law also wants that waistband to be extended to give the vision of expense. AGREE!
Jude: Nina is obsessed with the white shirts that he created. Designer Elizabeth thinks it’s boring (she’s wrong, but okay, girl). Everyone is in love with the tailoring. Flawless. AGREE!
Andriy: Nina thinks this is incredible and the interesting proportions. Law thinks Daphne Guinness would eat this up. OKAY FINE!
Honestly, replace Bryan with Octavius, Elizabeth with Bi, and Andriy with Aaron, and I’m happy. This is where we learn that these six have immunity, so we know we have Bryan for at least two more episodes.
The Bottoms
So many of these eight designers are confused and dismayed to be in the bottom, but none moreso than Jeffrey. He really doesn’t understand how he could be a low or a bottom.
Jennifer: Nina appreciated the look but wanted to be surprised and inspired and what the future looks like. And Jennifer is the first “Auf Wiedersehen” of the season. AGREE!
Andrea: Tyra didn’t know where to focus because this looked like separates that were just pulled on, and Andrea understands. Tyra’s gloves were expressive, so I assume they also hated it. Auf Wiedersehen number zwei. AGREE!
LRÉ the Artist: everyone thinks she looks so much cooler than the garment she presented. Auf Wiedersehen three. AGREE!
Dani: is it ‘80s prom? Is it Bridgerton? Is it Ren Faire? No one knows. Not even Dani. Luckily for her, the judges (somehow) decide to keep her. Maybe the construction is good. DISAGREE!
We’re down to three drag designers and a beauty queen for some rapid-fire judging.
R’Bonney’s is good, but not great; wearable, but not inspiring; safe and boring. Plane Jane jumps the gun and speaks to try to save herself. This isn’t fashion; this is a spiky cooch. Robby’s fabric choices and proportions are incongruous with what he’s wearing; it’s not cool, it’s not pretty. Robby spirals and questions everything. Jeffrey’s look is a costume (which apparently is news to him) and has no point of view, and Law hates it. Heidi likes it, though.
And here, Freeform pulls the stunt they pulled all last season and doesn’t give us a full episode, requiring us to tune in next week. Dear Freeform: stop it. Gimme a full episode. This type of editing doesn’t work for this type of competition show.
I think it’s a toss-up between R’Bonney and Jeffrey, and I’m fairly certain our two Ru Girls are goners.
I’m excited for this season. I’m excited for the fashion. I’m excited for the drama (mostly). And I’m excited for Christian Siriano to keep on killing it as the mentor.
Jury is out on Tyra’s gloves, though.
And why were we in The Oculus if we’re not going to use it? It would make an incredible runway.
What do YOU think of “Project Runway” Season 22? Who are you rooting for? Drop your comments below!
