RECAP: Project Runway Season 22, Episode 4
Hello, Designer Watchers!
Sorry for the delay. It’s my birthday weekend, and as a Leo, I must be celebrated! Celebrate me by calling the producers and telling them we hate this format.
ANYWAY! Onward. And to do that we must go back to the previous challenge…
The Rest of Episode 3
Immediately Jude and Anna are safe, which we knew. They were the least egregious of these bottom six. Chloe has been eliminated, a shock to no one. Her dress was just fabric and a belt. Jeffrey is safe, and he’s sad about it because Chloe’s gone. But the drama of Bobby (linebacker vibes) and Andriy (terrible leader) is back and this time, Russia defeats Ukraine. Bobby is in and Andriy is out. I’m not mad at this decision. Andriy was a shit leader and didn’t know how to deal with his friend’s (former friend, apparently) tears. Anyway.
Let’s go back to the runway, shall we. Read on for my take on Episode 4. SPOILERS AHEAD!
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The Challenge
Challenge: Head-to-Head Cruelty-Free Animal Inspired Looks
Budget: provided cruelty-free fabrics
Time: 1 Day
Elimination: One
This one is proving to be a “wild” ride because they’re partnering with Humane World for Animals. Honestly, give it to me. Cruelty-free is a great way to go! Fur and leather absolutely have their place, but if you must have a fur, find a vintage coat and wear that.
The Match-Ups
Team Lion: Aaron vs Anna. Aaron’s name was pulled from the button bag and he immediately thought of Anna and chose her, but realized she’s a good designer.
Team Shark: Jeffrey vs Naheim. Jeffrey chose Naheim purely because he thinks he can beat him.
Team Scarlet Macaw: Joseph McRae vs Bryan. Joseph has immunity and Bryan feels the most confident.
Team Wolf: Bi vs Jude. Christian was apparently shocked Jude chose a Wolf over the Mustang, and I get it. Mustangs just feel more tailored than a shaggy wolf.
Team Mustang: Bobby vs Elizabeth. They’re roommates! Will Bobby keep it together this episode or will she lash out at someone in this stewpot of fabric? Let’s watch.
And it’s another one-day challenge. Shocking. It’s our FOURTH one-day challenge in as many episodes (and I believe every challenge last season was also a one-day challenge). I’m over these one-day challenges. It’s giving Broke as a production theme. Did private equity buy up all of the reality-competition shows, too? Don’t let “Project Runway” go the way of Joanne Fabrics (may she rest in peace).
And in another twist: we have celebrity(?) guests as models. I must admit that slice-of-life reality is not my jam. I only know two of these celebrities because one was on “The Traitors” and has an interesting name; and the other is Veejay from last season. All I know is Andy Cohen is a menace and he must be stopped.
The Work Room
The Macaw (Joseph vs Bryan; model Charity Lawson from “The Bachelorette”): Joseph is making a wrap dress celebrating his mom who passed a few years ago. He promises to pull back and listen to Law’s critiques about toning it all down. Bryan has a number in fuschia: it has a halter, it has a train, it’s fuchsia, it’s been seen before. Christian wants him to edit, but Bryan’s ego and delusion are gonna prevent any introspective designing.
The Shark (Jeffrey vs Naheim; model Veejay Floresca, winner of “Project Runway” Season 21) Naheim instantly brings up the generational divides and needs Team Gen Z to bring their best. Jeffrey gives him the best side eye while squarely putting himself in the Under-40 Millennial Camp (and we’ll gladly claim him). Christian instantly clocks that they’re both using the same fabrics and it’s gonna be a true battle. And these men are both certified competitive energies: Jeffrey is a beauty queen with many a title, and Naheim apparently started fight clubs. I need more of both of their stories.
The Wolf (Bi vs Jude; model Sarah Jane Nader from “Love Thy Nader”) These two are such an interesting combination. Bi has a lot of experience and interesting thoughts, whereas Jude is a stunning tailor, but all of his designs are so quiet. Both impeccable, but different noise levels.
The Lion (Aaron vs Anna; model Stassi Schroder from “Vanderpump Villa” and “House of Stassi”) Christian gives Anna the quietest “hnnh” because she’s…just not all that exciting in her choices. I want to like Anna, but I need her to graduate a bit. Aaron, meanwhile, hasn’t sewn a drop of fabric and it is time to bring in the models, basically now. Because it’s a one-day challenge and there’s no time for anything.
And here we have our first surprise. One of the models, Stassi Schroeder, has a conflict and couldn’t make it and just eliminated model Chloe Magleby has been brought in to work the runway. And I have so many questions: when did Stassi know she had a conflict? How long has it been since the challenge was announced? What’s the size comparison between Stassi and Chloe? I’m a firm believer in sticking to your commitments, but I’m also not a C-list celebrity with my own TV show, so I understand that other more pressing things come up. But we’re most of the way through the workday. Garments have been measured and cut to be tailored for a certain person’s body. And if Stassi told them mere moments ago, then one shame on her for being a last-minute dropout, two shame on the producers for not finding a model closer to Stassi’s size. And don’t give me any of that “but it was so last minute, they scrambled.” Yeah. I see that they scrambled, and that’s evident on the runway, but you cannot tell me that the producers don’t have a rolodex (archaic, I know) of models that they could call and get them to come be on a nationally televised competition show with strong bone fides.
“But Trey,” you start to sputter. “What about the timelines? They’ve got a schedule to maintain.” Yeah. I know that; however, production has got to have contingencies built in for something like this. When we get to the runway, you can see that Anna and Aaron had to pivot a lot to get their garments to fit Chloe, and this is zero shade to Chloe (or Anna or Aaron, for that matter). People are different sizes, and Chloe is gorgeous, but the designers were given certain measurements and cut their fabrics accordingly. Production should have found a model closer to Stassi’s size or paused the competition to give Anna and Aaron extra time to recut their designs. I’m so mad on their behalf.
steps off soapbox … temporarily
Anyway. Back to the workroom because we still haven’t seen The Mustang (Bobby vs Elizabeth; model Ekin-Su from “Vanderpump Villa” and “Love Island UK”). These looks are a lot. It’s clear that neither of them wanted The Mustang and they’re not hiding it. Bobby has attempted to make a flamenco skirt, but it just doesn’t work in this faux leather.
The models all have their own opinions because they were brought in for two reasons: they’re gorgeous and they’re reality girls. They understand the assignment, even if they’re not the most helpful.
Ekin-Su feels like she’s wearing chocolate mousse and feels like Rapunzel on steroids in Elizabeth’s look, and she’s not wrong. It’s a lotta look that doesn’t seem focused. Ekin-Su also isn’t feeling Bobby’s look, and neither is Christian. Nor am I. Ekin-Su offers that the shirt is cloth, which…obviously? What she means is cheap, because it looks cheap.
Aaron’s working on the garment on Chloe and realizes that the proportions aren’t working on her body, so he needs to redesign entirely. This is production’s fault and Stassi’s fault. I won’t be taking any questions.
Anna has to redo the pants entirely because Chloe is a curvier girl than Stassi. She also has to start over. Again, the blame falls to production and Stassi.
The next bit of drama comes at Bryan’s expense (good) where Christian says it looks like Charity is in a basic prom dress that’s giving nothing. Charity doesn’t like it either. Bryan doesn’t want to be rushed on this one-day challenge, which fair, but honey, it’s still an ugly fuchsia dress.
Steps back onto soapbox
Our final bit of drama is on team Wolf, and it’s production’s fault again (as much as I want Bryan to be the villain this season, it’s Lantern Entertainment and Spyglass Media), and a bit Sarah Jane’s, too. After the model fittings, as Bi and Jude go to make alterations on their garments, they see that their white and gray fabrics are covered in make-up. Whoever let Sarah Jane enter that workroom covered in body make-up is an idiot (or an asshole). What do you mean you let a model into the workroom to try on white clothing while she was covered in make-up? I get it, kinda — she has an image to produce and needs to be gorgeous all the time, but shame on everyone involved before the entrance for allowing that to happen.
“But Trey,” you say, cowering in the corner from my last rant. “Why didn’t Jude or Bi speak up?”
Maybe they did, but it was edited out. Maybe they wanted to, but under the pressure of the production and not wanting to embarrass Sarah Jane, they said nothing. This is not really a space to speak up anymore. Now I miss Tim Gunn, because he probably would have said something just before the fitting. That man advocated for his designers. Go find any interview with him in the last several years, and you’ll hear how much he fought for them. Christian, baby, you gotta clock these things and help your designers. You’re an executive producer on this.
So far this season of “Project Runway” is a flop all over the place. This show is no longer about design, just about drama. It’s the only reason Bryan is still here. It’s why we’ve already culled 12 designers. It’s why Law Roach. Gonna sound like a Boomer conservative voter on this one, but I need “Project Runway” to return to its roots about being about design. They literally don’t make it like they used to.
Anway.
Stows soapbox away for the moment
We’re to runway day and catching up with the designers and Aaron and Anna are stressed about their model change. Ekin-Su is getting on Bobby’s nerves because she so obviously hates the look. Bi has a brand-new dress. Jude has a different, sexier vibe that he was going for, so maybe the make-up mishap was good for him. Bryan is bitching about Joseph’s same shoulders while giving us…whatever this yellow and fuchsia garment is.
The Runway
WHERE. IS. NINA. Did Tyra murder her to make more hideous gloves? Someone check Elle Magazine’s head offices, please!
Before we get into the looks, lemme just step onto my “I’m Mad at the Producers” Soapbox again. In each of our head-to-head battles, they have the designers critique and criticize each other’s looks. Some give good advice (better advice than the judges, even), but others seem to just say things to give the soundbite the producers want.
Okay. Let’s proceed.
Shark Battle featuring model Veejay: Naheim’s look isn’t bad. Sure, the mid-thigh belt is strange as hell, but I don’t think it was ever meant to be functional; it’s purely decoration. Jeffrey’s look is honestly great. It’s very toned down from what Jeffrey’s been giving us. He’s taking the notes, still giving us drama with his looks, but this is the most tasteful so far.
Lion Battle featuring model Chloe: We all know how I feel about the circumstances, so I’ll just say that neither garment is well-fitted. Anna recovered better than Aaron, but it’s just so clear this look wasn’t meant for Chloe’s body, but nevertheless Chloe is working it and looks confident in both looks. Anna’s shoulder peek-a-boos are a vibe that I like.
Macaw Battle featuring model Charity: Even if I didn’t have chyrons or Bryan’s commentary, I would know this is Joseph’s look: the big shoulders are a dead giveaway. Also, Joseph made a garment for himself out of the fabric, which is a choice I never think a designer should make. But I don’t hate this look. He clearly loves his departed mother and wanted to make sure she would have looked great in this. Bryan’s. Look. Is. Trash. These colors are dramatic because they just don’t go together. It’s the most garish thing I’ve seen in a while. Law laughed behind card, and I can’t hate that reaction. Am I missing something? Why is Bryan still here if not for the drama?
Wolf Battle featuring model Sarah Jane: Bi’s pivot looks like things he’s already created. Yawn. Jude’s look is a lot of fun. He really made the most of a bad situation. It’s tailored well (obviously) and feels really tasteful. That flirty leg really gives us some drama we need.
Mustang Battle featuring model Ekin-Su: What is it with this season’s designers and pirates? Are the only DVDs they have in their hotel the Pirates of the Caribbean collection? Kiera Knightley probably wore this in 2003. That bandana, though? No. Elizabeth’s look has a lot of fabric because Ekin-Su has to hike up the front of the skirt so she can walk. What is happening? Edit, girl. It’s cruelty-free pleather, but it was cruel to make her walk with that.
The Judging
With this season comes drama in the form of auction paddles. The judges hold up who they’re voting for, and Law gives us classic resting bitch face the entire time.
Lion: Aaron (0) vs Anna (3)
Wolf: Bi (0) vs Jude (3)
Macaw: Joseph (3) vs Bryan (0)
Mustang: Bobby (2: Tyra & Law) vs Elizabeth (1: Heidi)
Shark: Jeffrey (1: Law) vs Naheim (2: Heidi & Tyra)
Anna and Jude have the top two looks of the night. Joseph, who had immunity, gets a talking-to from Law about arrogance, which is rich coming from him. He should be happy he had immunity (even though he won his head-to-head battle?) because it was so clear that Joseph made his look because he was wearing the same fabric as his model. And he’s not wrong in that: let the judges know it’s your look because of the strong design.
Joseph says he’s not going to pay Law any mind and honestly, that’s correct. Law hasn’t given much in the way of helpful critiques this season (or this episode especially) and needs to be a guest judge once a season. May he continue to style Zendaya (please go look for her Spider-Man: Brand New Day premiere outfit), but go away from my television.
All of our split-decision designers (Bobby, Elizabeth, Jeffrey, Naheim) are safe, leaving Aaron, Bi, and Bryan on the chopping block.
We finally get critiques for the top designs. Bring these back forever.
Anna’s look has a great peek-a-boo shoulder and front part, according to Tyra. Law just says that it’s chic, clean, and modern.
Jude’s look has a great femininity to it and looks expensive.
Okay, but critiques these really aren’t. They’re buzzwords.
Jude wins and gets a Humane Journeys Expedition from Human World for Animals. Huzzah for Team Gen Z, I suppose.
Our bottom looks are next.
Bryan’s look is more sea anemone than macaw. There’s no bird here. It looks like an underwater aberration. Heidi doesn’t think this looks modern at all and calls the gold boa a worm. Law questions the wearability of the dress because she looks like an ugly step-sister. Tyra (who apparently sometimes flies economy) thinks from the side it looks nice, and I can’t disagree. But these colors are so dreadful together. And Bryan is puzzled the whole way through because he literally thinks his shit don’t stink.
Aaron talks about his trouble with the pivoting of models, and he’s correct. Law offers nothing except that it’s disgusting, and again, I say, “Ma’am. The producers did him dirty.” It’s not a great look, but it’s worthy of more than a trite word. And in his talking head, Aaron calls out the meanness from Law. Heidi says that the model change shouldn’t be an excuse because Anna got it to work, but I’m a full disagree on this one. Obviously.
Bi says he put a lot of overnight thought into this dress. No one is going to embarrass Sarah Jane’s make-up addiction here, apparently. Tyra says the chest is unflattering, and it is. Law says it looks like a heavy flow maxi-pad and Sarah Jane laughs…and I like this woman even less. Sure, it’s not a great look, and it’s got wings, but that was mean and Sarah Jane was cruel for the laughter. I would have burst into tears right then.
And it’s a cliffhanger because the producers hate us. They hate you, Dear Reader.
For my money, the only correct answer is Bryan. Get rid of him. Everything is puffy. Everything garish. I entirely hate his look. It’s bad. Did Aaron and Bi not pivot as well as the top two, Anna and Jude? No. But Bryan’s look is dreadful.
I can’t wait to see how the producers do the designers dirty next episode.
What do YOU think of “Project Runway” Season 22? Who are you rooting for? Drop your comments below!
