RECAP: Project Runway Season 22, Episode 5
Hello designers. Let’s get back into the previous episode, shall we?
The Rest of Episode 4
Who is it going to be? Bi’s honestly fine dress? Aaron’s fabric-heavy two piece? Bryan’s poisonous sea anemone?
Bryan’s delusion is very apparent, because he cannot see how ugly his dress is. It’s really wretched.
Somehow, Aaron is cut from the program even though Bryan’s was the most offensive. And by “somehow” I mean, “the producers said keep the delusion.”
We also get the first tastes of the issues that Law is going to have this episode (and next episode, since we don’t finish what we start anymore in a timely manner). But more on that in the judging. Aaron holds his head up high on his way out, saying to the camera that Law Roach can’t tell him nothing about his aesthetic, especially if he pays for dinner so they can talk about fashion.
Read on for my take on Episode 5. SPOILERS AHEAD!
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The Challenge
Challenge: Night Out in Paper Towels
Budget: $300
Time: 2 Days
Holy product placement, Batman! Viva must’ve paid a pretty penny for this product placement. Though, I’d have rather seen the Brawny Paper Towel mascot in the workroom this episode.
The Work Room
We see these industrial-sized uncut paper towels (sorry, Viva paper towels) on the worktables and they look like those mechanical grade thick, unrippable paper towels, not the ones you find in your kitchen. I need to know how hefty these paper towels are. Do I need to go to the supermarket?
They’re given lots of dyes to make these paper towels wet (and sturdy, apparently). I NEED TO KNOW THE SCIENCE OF PAPER TOWELS! WHY AREN’T THEY FALLING APART?
Naheim is gonna go for a denim look and his dyeing looks good so far. Bi and Bryan throw annoying barbs at each other. Truly over this drama.
Anna is dying big black blobs on her paper towels and plans to handknit her garment, but will she have time? Will it look crafty? She’s our unconventional girlie and she can’t look like trash.
Elizabeth is spraypainting lace over paper towels dyed red. Christian loves it. Bobby thinks it’s bad. But Bobby. Have you seen your looks the last several weeks?
Joseph McRae immediately starts talking about how he’s over Law and his shenanigans and calling him cocky. And sir. He didn’t call you cocky because of your designs. If you remember, he called you cocky because you were dressed in the same fabric as your look last week. Though Law calling anyone arrogant is truly rich. Besides, here we see that Law Roach is the main character of the episode this week, and that’s where this show has gone astray.
As I’ve said over the past weeks (and much of the internet for both this season and last), this show has strayed away from it’s roots. It’s no longer about design. It’s about personality, and not even designer personality. It’s about Law Roach’s personality, and it’s a personality that so many folks find incredibly distasteful.
But back to Joseph. He’s very in his head about what Law has said. Joseph has struggled with his identity with masculinity (he doesn’t say that, but that’s clear of what it is), but he’s finally okay with who he is and who he’s become (and besides, masculinity is what you make it, and this man is in his full power). He’s planning on making a mini-dress out of paper towels and a jacket over top of it out of fabric, and Christian immediately (and correctly) questions him about it. Joseph thinks it’s risky, and that’s the point. Take a risk of making one of your coats out of paper towels! Push yourself!
Jeffrey’s girl is in Miami and is in ruffles! He’s taking a different route with his towels. He’s just ombreing the edge of the towels and leaving it white. It’s a risk and I wanna see it!
Bryan studied in Cuzco with artisan dyers. Okay. It’s very green up in here and Bi is living for the questions Bryan is getting. And Bryan can’t be beat by Bi. sigh Okay.
Bobby just isn’t taking risks at all. But maybe this is just her aesthetic. Though she has a good story of wanting to help her brother get out of Russia before he turns 18 and is drafted into the army.
Naheim is making his look in denim…or paper towels looking like denim. Christian isn’t convinced because none of his girls would dress like this, and Naheim’s talking head is basically like, “Duh. Because my girl is cool.” And he’s not wrong. He looks super cool. And Christian’s girl is high fashion.
Rapid fire!
Anna might not have enough time because she didn’t weave anything and now has nothing.
Bryan likes Bi’s pants!
Bryan’s looks like a salad, a salad that Bi wants to toss with ranch dressing... I’m convinced these men have known each other Biblically.
Joseph pivots (correctly) from making a jacket out of fabric that would hide his towel dress, and tries to make a jacket out of paper towels, but it’s not looking good for him. He’s stressed.
Jude’s jacket looks like suede and his pants are boring.
Bi is taping a corset onto his model’s body and his pants are chic.
BACK to Joseph and he’s letting Law live in his head, exactly where Law wants to be.
Naheim’s looks like denim and you can tell Christian is thinking about hiring him.
Bobby exists.
Elizabeth’s needs to be red.
Jeffrey’s is cool.
Joseph is finally finding his voice.
Bryan finally has an interesting salad.
And then we have a completely unnecessary Bravo tie-in with Hannah Berner (who looks like Plane Jane) and Paige DeSorbo. MOVING ON!
The Runway
Immediately things are falling apart. Bi’s harness is getting loose. Elizabeth’s clasp rips at the closure. Bryan has a giant rip in the back of his dress. And these are all forgivable (except Bi’s because it’s not paper towels), because these are not conventional looks.
Also pause. BRB. Gonna go file a missing person’s report for Nina Garcia. But we’ve got Willy Chavarria, so I’ll take it. Especially for later. Christian is also there, mainly to say, “That’s paper towels.”
Elizabeth (and model Amanda). I really like this paper towel dress upon first glance. I think the lace effect is really pretty. Heidi can’t tell it’s paper towels (but Willy can). The more I look at it, though, the more I see that it’s a weird shape at the bottom.
Bi (and model Yu). You cannot deny that these pants are stunning. It’s incredible that he made the pants and tank out of paper towels. The harness, however, is an odd bit of styling that’s really just there to punch up the look.
Bobby (and model Christina). This is weird. I’m already not a fan of this silhouette, but that neckstrap does absolutely no favors to anyone. It swallows the model’s entire chest and neck. The dye job is fine. The BACK is a whole mess. Nothing lines up and it’s strange as hell.
Bryan (and model Rebecca). Sure it flows, but it’s a walking salad. I don’t like the placement of the colors and the pleats. I just really dislike this look. I can’t decide if it’s because I’m predisposed to not liking anything Bryan makes...or if it’s just bad.
Joseph (and model Lexii). The jacket is made out of paper towels and it is still a Joesph McRae look! It’s the high collar and short hem that lets us know. Yes, the shoulders are still exaggerated, but it’s not the voluminous thing we usually get. And the COLOR! Gimme.
Jude (and model Briana). The jacket is stunning. The man can tailor. We know this. But I’m starting to want to see something more from Jude. The pants are nice. Unconfirmed if they’re made out of paper towels.
Naheim's (and model Badu) entire look is paper towels, but it looks so much like denim. She’s such a cool girl, and Naheim is right: Christian’s girl could never. The way the waist is cinched on this jacket is just so gorgeous. The asymmetrical skirt over pants is giving me horror flashbacks to the early aughts (poor Ashley Tisdale), but it’s not terrible. I just never wish for a woman to be that overdressed again.
Anna (and model Liris) dressed her model in paper towels and gives an hourglass illusion. It’s fine.
Jeffrey (and model Rain). His look absolutely looks like paper towels, but I appreciate it in this look (especially with the corsetting up the back of the bolero). It’s very much a flamenco look, but of course his girl is from Miami, so it works!
Heidi says they all did a good job and Tyra can’t figure out what was paper towels and what was conventional fabric, and she’s right! At least through this screen, for some of them I’d be hard pressed to say they were paper towels.
And Law thinks they’re being too nice. Again, he’s lost the actual plot of this show.
The Judging
We start off the judging with every designer’s least favorite game show, “Who Are You Least Impressed With?”
Elizabeth, Bi, Bobby, Naheim, and Jeffrey all name Joseph (and Law has thoughts).
Joseph says Elizabeth because she’s the first person who said his name.
Jude names Bryan because nothing has really clicked yet (this is why Jude is my very safe favorite right now).
Anna says herself, and is swiftly torn down for it. She then names Bobby, who needs to be more confident (which is rich after her own talking head saying she’s toxic toward herself).
During the walk down Impressions Lane, Law mocks Anna because she said herself. He tells her to leave and she starts crying to which he says, “Tears. How sweet.” And this is why the internet and bloggers hate Law, and people have stopped working with him (and Zendaya needs to). He’s a bully. Anna is clearly in the dumps here. She’s unhappy with her entire look because she couldn’t execute what she wanted and pivoted to a frankly really boring dress. She’s in her emotions and Law is clearly trying to put himself in the Red Pilled Macho Man Man-o-sphere here with trying to imply that emotions are weakness, especially crying. He mocks her absolutely human moment because he thinks she’s weak and he loves to prey on those he believes are beneath him.
If Law Roach has no haters, I’m dead.
Thank God for Willy telling her that she’s gotta believe in herself, because 80% of this business is confidence.
Joseph points out that even though he got the most votes, he has the most wins this season, and he’s correct! Sure, the other designers are probably tired of The Joseph McRae Show, but honestly they’re not bringing it the same way he is. Joseph is an incredibly confident designer who knows his aesthetic, and he’s being punished for that by the other designers and Law, who starts to dig into Joseph because Anna wasn’t enough for him. He reminds us that Joseph was voted out by the competitors last season and here he is being named again. Joseph stands firm in his power and says he’s working fully for himself and his vision. Law cuts him off because it’s TJMR Show again, even though he asked him a question. He then says that he must be the problem if the whole world is against him.
Law. Honey. I say this with all due respect (which isn’t much, I suppose): take a piece of your own advice and do some reflecting. Just because you’re successful, doesn’t mean you’re a good person.
Anyway, Joseph and Jude are safe. After all that, Joseph is safe. Ugh.
The bottoms: Bobby, Anna, and Elizabeth. Elizabeth is shaken because she knows that Law is just going to cut her down.
The tops: Bryan, Bi, Naheim, and Jeffrey (because they couldn’t decide on three). Bryan immediately talks about his unrequited love for Bi and about how they’re always together (no, you hang up first), and how basic Bi’s look is, and how couture (in the most annoying accent) his look is.
Bi’s look is tailored to perfect. There’s a hidden zipper in the paper towels and they fit like a glove. Law says he’d dress Zendaya in this look for Dune press tours...and adds that he thinks everyone who voted against him is stupid, proving that he only has disdain for his fellow judges.
Tyra makes a face, and Heidi stands her ground (though she needs to step more into her power as host and tell Law to chill).
Bryan’s has a fantasy and a gorgeous drape (according to Willy), but Law hates the pleats and is very bothered that they’re even debating between Bryan and Bi.
And here is where The Law Roach Show is fully realized. He cannot fathom why anyone wouldn’t love Bi’s, especially over Bryan’s. Willy says that without the belt harnesses, it’s just a yoga top and some pants, and he’s not wrong. Is this a stunning look? Sure. But it’s super basic. He rose to the challenge and created something out of paper towels that looks good...but where’s the vision? Bryan at least attempted something. His model looks like a bagged salad (though not from Taylor Farms), but he has vision. As much as I think Bi is a better designer than Bryan, he didn’t really push fashion here. He just styled it and tailored it well, and that’s what Law is reacting to.
Law says the fashion world loves the simplicity of Willy’s collections, and Willy says he always brings drama. He does concede that he’d hire Bi over Bryan because of his skills, but not necessarily his designs. And this is a what? All together now: a design competition.
Tyra then jumps in with how much Law is overstepping and overtalking everybody in this room. Law then shows how much he misunderstands this shows by saying that Bi’s is better because his shows his technique and talent and Bi “can fucking sew.” Law says that Bryan’s isn’t well made.
Heidi, ever the pleasant white lady, finally pipes in with a, “we know.”
And then we are told to come back next week.
So, a recap of the recap:
We don’t know who won.
We don’t know who lost.
Law is a bully who needs to be removed.
Everyone (Tyra, Heidi, the designers) seem to be fed up with Law.
I’ll say it now: if season 23 features Law Roach as a judge, I’m not sure I can stomach it.
What do YOU think of “Project Runway” Season 22? Who are you rooting for? Drop your comments below!
