RECAP: Project Runway Season 22, Episode 8
Oh. Hello there. Sorry I’m late. It’s been a crazy week. Let’s finish up last week’s episode, shall we?
Who’s gonna win: Season 21 or Season 22? Will Bryan finally face a consequence? What about the tape dress Liris was forced to wear?
And the winner is: Season 22, because Bi had the best look this week, and with that he wins the iconic unconventional challenge AND $20,000. And is this a conspiracy, because they didn’t want to get rid of Jeffrey? At least the twins are going away, and that’s what matters.
Oh. And be forewarned: this blog will be bitching about Bryan a lot because he does the most (and the least). How do you ask? Firstly, by plucking out tissues during a talking head because he thinks Jeffrey’s tears are overdramatic. Bryan sucks. I truly believe that he’s been kept this long because the producers want him for the drama (because it’s clearly not the talent; and I’m sure I’ve said that before, but we can both be broken records). Bryan’s also mad that his friend (intern?) Bi didn’t stick up for him when Jeffrey questioned his work ethic (you know, when he taped Liris into a dress). And in the words of Bi’s unconventional dress: Bitch Please.
Anyway, moving on. What’s coming next?
Read on for my take on Episode 8. SPOILERS AHEAD!
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The Challenge
We’re on the runway, and Christian and Heidi sit behind a makeshift table with a mysterious third empty seat. They announce that they’re doing a collaboration (that everyone has been asking for, apparently) between Project Runway and Dancing With the Stars, and that empty seat goes to Julianne Hough. This homosexual recap blogger has never seen a minute of DWTS so I have have zero space to say anything about Ms. Hough, but I hear people love her.
And not only is she here, but she will be the designers’ guest mentor while Christian is out on a very important business trip (where are you going, Christian? Are you finally finishing killing Tim Gunn because you need to take everything from him?).
Challenge: Dance-Inspired Look
Budget: $650
Time: 1 Day
Elimination: Double, and this makes sense since we didn’t get one last challenge
To pick the order of who chooses when, the designers dance and are scored by the panel.
Moving on, here are the style and guest model assignments:
Jeffrey: Salsa with Britt Stewart
Naheim: Jazz with Brandon Armstrong
Anna: Samba with Jenna Johnson Chmerkovskiy
Bryan: Waltz with Emma Slater
Bi: Paso Doble with Val Chmerkovskiy
JMcRae: Jive with Ezra Sosa
Jude: Quickstep with Alan Bersten
I’m really glad that both Jude and Naheim have male models this go-round because they both have a great eye for tailoring and menswear.
The Work Room
We get just a little bit of Mood (I’ve missed you, Mood). Anna really wants a win (any win) and goes with an uber-difficult chiffon to work with. It’s a strong choice, but maybe this unconventional girlie can get it done.
Bryan is whining because during the shouting match with Jeffrey on the last challenge, everyone took Jeffrey’s side. But he assures us (himself?) that he doesn’t need their support. And maybe, Bryan, they rallied around Jeffrey because you had the worst look and zero integrity with that challenge. Maybe, Bryan, you’re the problem. Ugh. And he’s gonna continue to be a problem this episode. Buckle up, buttercups.
Julianne comes in to mentor the designers to the best of her ability, which is just a very positive aura. Bi wants to do something powerful and passionate for his paso doble look, being inspired by a matador and their red capes. Bryan takes his hair down to whip his hair back and forth for Julianne and to talk about how elegant the waltz is, and wants to be sure to highlight his haute couture his look is.
New drinking game: take a shot every time Bryan says “haute couture.”
Haute Couture shots: 2
Julianne says she gets what Bryan is trying to do with the baby pink and the gray, and Bryan attempts to…I dunno, do calisthenics for his turn on DWTS.
The dancer models come in dancing and ready to try on some clothes.
JMcRae is inspired by the African-American cultural background of the jiver from WW2 and his model Ezra immediately enjoys the volume of this jazz look. Jeffrey is going old-school classic salsa like West Side Story with polka dots and a cherry red.
Bryan is doing ruffles. Again.
Apparently the Quickstep (designer Jude and dancer model Alan) is the hardest dance to do and is the Dance of Death. I just have images of the Pan Em Capital having the Hunger Games be a dance contest one year and executing dancers who fall. Jude makes pants with just the most pleats to give us some motion.
Anna has a very flowy (and iconic, apparently) dresses with a silk chiffon faux feather skirt.
Bi’s look is entirely in red.
Julianne tries to direct Bryan into melding the pink and the gray together so it doesn’t just look like two garments sewn together, and he assures her it will look good. Time will tell, Bryan, if these ruffles will cushion the blow. He fully believes that the judges will appreciate his haute couture ruffles.
Houte Couture shots: 3
Naheim has these interesting pants that have a pointed ovoid opening in the front that will open wider when the model walks.
Christian comes back the next morning and reminds us all about the Siriano Save (which I feel like we’ve heard nary a peep about this season) and wanders around the workroom to give last-minute advice. He tries to move Bryan away from “this bottom thing?” that looks like some netting just tacked on? It’s a choice. Christian questions Naheim about his vagina pants (the openings on the pants could have been thought up by Georgia O’Keeffe, y’all), and a Naheim knows it because he also saw the budding flowers of love on the legs. Christian absolutely hates the maroon fabric belt (it’s ugly and annoying) Bi has tied around the waist of his model, which Bi immediately scraps.
The Runway
It looks like Nina Garcia is here for the longhaul. Amazing.
And our guest judge this week: Niecy Nash-Betts. My household loves Niecy, have always loved Niecy, and will always love Niecy. She’s perfection.
Anna (and model Jenna; dance Samba): I do like this look, but for me it doesn’t really push anything forward. She sewed the hell out of that chiffon, and it looks great, but I’m not wowed by this. It’s Safesville for me. Niecy wants it for vacation and the judges love the skirt, especially the feathers at the bottom.
Bi (and model Val; dance Paso Doble): it is definitely red, and everyone is wowed by Val’s ass in them pants, which are tailored to the gods (but we knew Bi could tailor). Jeffrey is concerned the judges will ding Bi for having beltloops but no belt, which is nonsensical to me? This look is a million times better without the sashy-belt.
Bryan (and model Emma; dance Waltz): Bryan loves the sculptural nature of the dress; this dress looks so uncomfortable because poor Emma is being eaten by it. It almost looks like she has to strain her neck to keep it above the ruffles so she doesn’t suffocate. He also didn’t integrate the pink and the gray at all. It looks like he ran out of gray fabric and so had to go with whatever he had left, which was this baby pink. He calls it graceful, and is he blind? She can’t move. But he’s convinced his craftsmanship will save him. Nina calls it “Bridgerton,” and ma’am, you do them dirty.
Naheim (and model Brandon; dance Jazz): this look doesn’t make sense to me. I’m glad he “closed up shop” on the fronts of these pants, but I fully don’t understand the hanging waist wings, nor the asymmetrical jacket. Maybe I’m just too fat to understand asymmetry in a look?
Jeffrey (and model Britt; dance Samba): the red is gorgeous; the 20 layers of skirt ruffle are pretty; the polka dots are nice…it’s just so basic. I really think that Jeffrey has kind of lost his way the further we go into the competition. He’s taking his drag sensibilities out of his looks and going for pure fashion, which I get, but he’s swung the pendulum too far. Christian comments that he’s seen this dress in every costume shop across the country, and he’s not wrong.
Jude (and model Alan; dance Quickstep): it may just be black and white, but it’s gorgeous (and Nina Garcia agrees). The way it flows and moves and flares. It’s stunning. But I do wish that Jude would take a chance with some color.
Joseph McRae (and model Ezra; dance Jive): it’s a full JMcRae look with its exaggerated sleeves and high open collar and wide-legged pants (the hat sucks, though). It also feels heavy and puffy (without being a puffer jacket). I guess my only thought beyond that is I didn’t know they did the Jive in the Emerald City. Dorothy and Friends never showed us that. Too bad he didn’t have the Jitterbug. Do people still do the Jitterbug?
The Judging
Heidi mentions how hard this double elimination is going to be (and Law disagrees).
Anna and Jude are the top two and are moving into the Top Five. Bi is safe and is the third designer in the Top Five.
That leaves us Naheim, Bryan, Jeffrey, and Joseph at the bottom, and this works for me. The bottom four all have their problems that need to be addressed.
Anna is up first for critiques, and she talks about Carnival and how sexy she wants this Samba look to be. Neicy loves the corsetted back to give options for ladies with a curvy front. Nina loves the fabric because this floral isn’t too sweet and it’s modern. Jenna (model dancer) loves it because it feels so sexy to her, and Law is shouting that to the rooftops.
Jude spoke about how he didn’t want to do a full jacket with tails, so he made the cuts in the back a little longer than normal to give that look. He also has these secretly voluminous pants that are pleated in such a way that they will let them open up as the man dances. Ezra (model dancer) feels (and looks) incredible in this. Neicy wants it for her spouse; Nina wants it for herself.
Jude takes the win, and I know Anna wanted it, but this is Jude’s win. It’s tailored impeccably, and for me, Anna’s skirt feels a little costumey, which would keep her for the win if I’m on the panel.
The bottoms are next. Bryan is confused about why he’s in the bottom, and that’s because he’s the most delusional.
Naheim talks about how Jazz and music were his life growing up. Law talks about how he just doesn’t understand this look (the fronts, the wings, the asymmetry), and he’s very not wrong. Nina doesn’t think it looks well made, and upon looking again, the jacket does look unnecessarily slouchy. Neicy can see the vision, but doesn’t think Naheim quite got to where he was going. And I do think that if they had an extra day, he could have pulled out something great and edited it down. Heidi disagrees, though, and really likes this look and how modern it looks.
Bryan is up. deep breath He wanted to capture the essence of the volume and the ruffles of Vienna when this dance came about. Heidi immediately says the model is being swallowed in this dress. It’s just ruffles and a head, and she would put her on the worst-dressed list (like Heidi was in Bryan’s maternity dress from The Devil Wears Prada 2 red carpet. Neicy’s eyes are not enjoying what they’re being made to see. Law wants to know what the gender of the baby is, because that’s what this dress is giving.
Throughout all of the critiques, Bryan’s face is just always a shocked Pikachu. Sometimes I think his delusion is a character, but I think it’s actually him. He really thought the judges were going to cry and wet themselves over the craftsmanship of these damned ruffles. This dress is haunted. Bryan really thinks that because he’s taking risks and puts in a lot of work, he should get a pass. Truly, the delusion is strong with this one. Emma (model dancer) wants to love the eccentricity of the dress, but it looks like she hates it.
JMcRae gets dressed down (again) by Law because he’s just not pushing himself to move forward and is here to sell his brand. And I can see both sides of this argument. This is a competition show to find the next great fashion designer (or at least it used to be), and JMcRae keeps giving us exaggerated shoulders. But at least he has a voice that is interesting to hear. But also, it’s clear that Law has never liked Joseph McRae and never will, so I’m tired of this song and dance. That said, Neicy and Heidi really like this look, to which Law calls Neicy just a “guest judge”, and Bryan (in his talking head) agrees that she’s just a guest judge.
Jeffrey is up next, and Neicy wants her to lose the wrap. Everyone thinks she looks like the dancing emoji and that this doesn’t push anything forward. It’s constructed well, but it’s not exciting.
Naheim and his vagina pants are safe. He’s Top 5.
Bryan is eliminated by the panel. Thank god. He’s confused because he takes risks. But he’s going to stay grounded (where, baby, where?).
And down to Joseph and Jeffrey and the one who is saved is Joseph, meaning Jeffrey has been eliminated.
And after listening to the critiques, none of this was a surprise.
Jeffrey is beside himself with tears, and Bryan is his typical emotionless self. Christian comes in and says that he has decided to use his Siriano save and there’s a creative mind he wants to still see. But who is it? And in the FIRST CORRECT USAGE OF THE CLIFFHANGER THIS SEASON, we’ll find out next episode.
And if Bryan is saved, I swear to all of the gods, old and new, I will riot.
What do YOU think of “Project Runway” Season 22? Who are you rooting for? Drop your comments below!
