BY Eric Rezsnyak
My actual face watching this challenge:
Look. It’s not the queens’ faults, right? This was a bad challenge. A bad RECYCLED challenge, because they did this almost exactly on the American franchise, Season 7. Queens paired up, and were assigned a style of ballroom dance frequently seen in “Dancing with the Stars” (or, as they know it in the UK, “Strictly Come Dancing”). The queens had to not only learn the choreography, but they had to present it in half-man, half-woman drag, switching up leader and partner. I hated it in Season 7. I hated it here. And it’s been a while since I watched that S7 episode — nearly a decade! — but I feel like those queens did much better than this group. Which makes sense, since literally ONE QUEEN out of the Top 6 is known as a competent-or-better dancer. Why would you do a whole dancing challenge on this show when almost NONE of your cast are strong dancers?
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That queen is, of course, Marina Summers, who once again reminded us this episode of what drag excellence looks like. She was easily the best in the main challenge, paired along with Hannah Conda — who, for the record, did a solid job — and then I consider her the only queen to serve us a successful look on the runway, with the awful prompt “Business in the Front, Party in the Back.” Just like last episode, Marina swept this one and made it look easy, right down to the Top 2 lipsynch against her castmate Hannah. Marina is a STAR and I am so grateful she is on this season, because without her…whew, this would be a rough ride.
In the interest of fairness, let’s briefly check in with the remaining five queens.
Hannah Conda: As mentioned, Hannah was our other top contender this week, and I agree with that — certainly I did not see any other real competition from the dance challenge — but I thought Hannah’s runway was one of the worst thing she’s ever worn. She gave us humanoid cat, like some kind of off-brand “Zoobilee Zoo,” which was somehow business, while the “party” in the back were small fabric mice and various mouse slogans. This felt like something Hannah had at home (I shudder to think why someone might already have a humanoid cat costume just lying around), and then she added the mice to it. Not the T for me, honeybee. Hannah tried in that lipsynch, but she could not keep up with Marina. Truly I question how any of the others can. But it was such a foregone conclusion that even before they lipsynched, La Grand Dame asked, “How will it feel to lose the lipsynch again?” NURSE!
La Grand Dame: Speaking of La Dame, she was paired with Tia Kofi this week, and the duo presented the Quickstep. Which is a very challenging dance! And neither of these queens are dancers, or particularly strong with their movement. And I’m not even talking shit; they both acknowledge it. The only word I could think while watching these two was, “ungainly.” Quickstep is tough to begin with (many a “So You Think You Can Dance’ contestant struggled with it), and LGD and Tia had a harder time than most because of their gorgeous, long, lithe bodies. You gotta lift those liimbs way up to do it right! And they…tried. They absolutely tried. But it was not something I ever want to see again. On the runway, LGD looked ethereal from the front in a gorgeous, flowing white fantasy. The “party” in the back were…weapons? Spray-painted red? Like a knife, guns, etc.? Again, this felt like something she had already, that she she added to so it fit the brief. A rare runway miss for LGD. Still looked pretty from the front!
Tia Kofi: Tia was also safe this episode, paired with LGD. My issue here is that during the challenge, we saw what I have been consistently seeing from Tia this whole season: a look of clear panic on her face when performing for the judges. In fact, the judges picked up on it too, and even said something, as it seemed that LGD was willing Tia into believing they could do the routine. That is not great. I believe in Tia Kofi. I always have. I know she has it in her. She IS a star, full stop. But over and over again this season we see those nerves, even more than I feel like we did on “UK2,” and that’s so worrying for me. Tia has everything it takes. She’s gorgeous. She’s so funny. She’s naturally charismatic. She’s razor sharp. She is one of the most likable queens ever to appear on “Drag Race.” The fact that she still seems to wrestle with her confidence whenever she’s facing the judges is deeply sad to me. On the runway, she gave us a St. Sebastian look, where the “party” in the back was being shot through with arrows. I would call it one of the better looks of the night, even if I’m not sure it entirely met the brief. But so few of them did, so…work.
Scarlet Envy: The thing I noticed about Scarlet this episode was that she was way off her talking head game. I like her a lot and I think she’s pretty reliable for a good quip. She was trying really hard to get something going a few times this episode, and they all just flopped hard. She was paired with Choriza May on the tango, a dance Choriza specifically wanted given her inherent Spanish drama and passion. The fact that they chose that dance, and this was so bad, makes it even worse. I will say that Scarlet and Choriza said they had fun doing it, and did the best they could with the material. I’m not sure that’s something I would brag about, but you do you. Scarlet was technically in the Bottom 2, but to me it was pretty clearly Choriza who was the worst, and Scarlet was just there for logistical reasons — she was not the primary reason they struggled. On the runway, Scarlet gave us a stunning dragged-out version of Barbra Streisand’s iconic Oscar win look, with the “party” be a chaps-esque cutout for her ass. One of the more literal applications of this week’s theme, but at least she understood the assignment.
Choriza May: Oh, Choriza. My silly sausage. I adore her, I really do, but nothing came together for her this week, or arguably this competition as a whole. I don’t know what was going on but she never felt fully engaged to me. I absolutely think she WANTED to be there, and she was TRYING to go a good job. She just wasn’t finding her groove. She definitely did not in this dance challenge, in which she was pretty obviously the worst of the bunch. Then for the runway, she gave us another devil-inspired look, with a briefcase that spilled out panties and dildos everywhere, and another ass cutout in the back. It was not her best look, by a longshot. She was rightfully put in the Bottom 2 along with Scarlet, and ultimately Marina decided to send Choriza home in this, her third time in the Bottom. It’s kind of hard to argue with that.
I will miss Choriza. I think she’s wonderful, a really special queen. I do not think this series was a good showcase of her talents, and especially not of her personality. She has a natural sparkle to her but it just wasn’t shining through here, and I don’t know why. I wish her only the very best in the future. Choriza, we love you!
That leaves us a Final 5 with five queens from different countries. That’s fun!
Next: it’s a roast, and Marina is concerned.
Did you miss our previous recaps? Find them here:
We’re also recapping U.S. Season 16 and “Espana All Stars.” You can find those recaps by clicking here!
Marina and Hannah did well, but the others were pretty bad. I thought Hannah also held her own in the lipsync and I wouldn’t have been mad if the judges handed her the win. I think Marina won though when she changed outfits mid lipsync.