BY Eric Rezsnyak
As we hurtle toward the weddings of Season 6, another couple bites the dust, a second is SORELY tested — and in my opinion, should really call it quits — and the fate of a third seems precarious indeed. Oh, and the unselected Pod People return for a dramatic lakefront shindig that peaked with passive-aggressive jet-ski riding. Yes, I’m completely serious.
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Let’s go over our couples in order of most likely to succeed to absolutely fucked.
Johnny & Amy
Our token functional relationship, Johnny & Amy continued to have smooth sailing as they marched toward the altar. The previous episodes established two main concerns for the couple: how they would navigate birth control, as Amy did not want to take the pill; and whether Amy’s father would give his blessing for the marriage, as she refused to marry Johnny without it.
The latter was addressed quickly and with absolutely no drama. At an al fresco lunch with Amy’s father, Johnny launched into an impassioned although not particularly moving speech about how much he loved Amy, and wanted to a part of their family. Amy’s father said welcome to the family and all was right with the world. My main criticism is that they didn’t even touch their charcuterie plate before they talked marriage. Johnny, at least let the man have some cheese and crackers before you take away his daughter!
Later, in a scene where you could practically see the producers just off camera whispering, “You need to talk about birth control now,” Johnny and Amy discussed the baby-making situation. Johnny admitted that when he looked more into vasectomy as an option, he was significantly less open to that concept. Um, yeah! It was bonkers to me that they would even seriously consider that alternative to birth control, especially if Amy’s primary concern was “I don’t want to mess with my body.” So it’s OK for Johnny to have actual SURGERY and cut veins instead? Straight people are WILD. Vasectomy is for men who absolutely do not want children after the procedure. Yes, it is reversible, but that doesn’t always work (as Johnny alluded to). Ultimately Amy decided to give the pill a shot. I still not understand why this couple so emphatically rejected condoms as an option. If they’re good enough for Dorothy Zbornak, they’re good enough for you:
Clay & AD
I really like these two. I ADORE AD especially, but I like Clay a lot, too. I so badly want to see them both happy. But I can’t help but feel this is going to unspool at the altar, with Clay refusing to go through with it out of some misguided sense of anxiety.
That foreboding was all over these episodes. At home, AD and Clay had a discussion about the future, and Clay basically backed right into his feelings that he wasn’t entirely ready for marriage, and he did not want to make a commitment that big on such a tight timeline, just to satisfy some bullshit “social experiment.” In Clay’s defense, that is a totally valid and mature take on this situation. On the other hand: it is what all of them signed up for. And that’s exactly what AD said to him. She took the experiment seriously, she went in committed to seeing it through, and that while she loves him and wants to be with him, if he says no to her on their wedding day, she’s not going to be cool with continuing to date him and being a long-term fiancee. She handled it respectfully but firmly, and real talk, AD is confrontation goals for me. She is just so calm yet direct in her exchanges. I wish I had 1/10th of her composure.
Later, AD introduced Clay to her mother. The date started awkwardly, as AD shared that she had spent the night before setting up a romantic craft night for her and Clay…and he never showed. This is the second time that we know of that Clay has left AD on her own since they returned to the “real world,” and it is a huge source of concern for me. Once Clay showed, there was a wonderful conversation between him and AD’s mother, whom I also adore. The whole time I was watching her speak to the two of them, I kept thinking, “Where is ‘Love Is Blind: Golden Years'” for divorcees/widows/singles over the age of 50?” I would watch the shit out of that. Because AD’s mom was SO lovely, and the interaction between those two women — my heart. I loved loved loved that scene.
But then we had another possible blip with Clay. Possible, because I’m not entirely sure what happened with him at the lake party. When AD arrived she told the other couples that Clay was working, but he would come later. And we did get a shot of Clay arriving at some point. But we literally never saw him in any of the footage. How long was he there, for something that sure seemed to be a major cast event, and at which AD was was pulling some pretty major moves? While the two of them seemed to be in a good place at the end of these episodes — although I really don’t care for that veil AD chose, it borders on morbid — I am still very concerned about the resolution for this couple.
Jimmy & Chelsea
I am also concerned for Jimmy & Chelsea, but for the opposite reason: I hope they DO NOT get married. This couple is an absolute disaster, and every second they are on my screen is a torment. I tried, I really did. I thought they were fine in the pods (but I thought Jimmy was a better fit with Jessica). I was pulling for them in Dominican Republic. I was deeply concerned in the last clutch of episodes. But now, I am fully over it. While I thought the issue was that Jimmy really wasn’t into Chelsea — and I still believe that on some level — that pales in comparison to the havoc being wrought by Chelsea’s utter lack of self esteem and paranoid anxiety. My GOD. Exhausting!
I previously described these two as the Lite version of S2 trainwrecks Nick and Danielle. That’s incorrect; Jimmy and Chelsea are every bit as dysfunctional. The two of them very nearly ended things early in this bunch of episodes, after Chelsea — allegedly drunk, but she didn’t speak as though she were drunk — picked a fight with Jimmy about him going out the night before for a friend’s birthday. There were a few interesting elements to this fight. First, when it started they were all cuddly and cozy — it felt VERY staged to me. Secondly, as it began to derail, each member of the couple brought up the cameras in different ways, basically acknowledging that they are very much editing their behaviors and language to present the best possible version of themselves and their story for the show. Third, once Chelsea had fully derailed — which happened with alarming speed — she went on to make wild allegations about Jimmy, including the fact that he met with Jessica (this was apparently entirely fiction) and that he obviously never really loved her. She literally told Jimmy that if he wanted to be with her he could no longer have any kind of social life without her. CRAZY! And THEN revealed a personal secret Jimmy had made explicitly clear he did not want aired on camera. This was a 10/10 crazy train, and I actually applauded when Jimmy told her he was not interested in continuing with the relationship, and was done.
Much to my chagrin, the following day they reconnected, and Chelsea reeled him back in. The whole scene was incredibly manipulative on Chelsea’s part. While I don’t have a particularly high opinion of Jimmy, I do believe he deserves better than this mental and emotional abuse. And that’s what this is: Chelsea’s behavior was abusive. Full stop. She made a bunch of bullshit excuses and the two of them were back on. But I have to tell you, I don’t buy a single second of these two at this point. I think they both want to be on TV — and to look as good as they can — for as long as possible. I have serious doubts Jimmy will actually say yes to her at the altar, although I’m sure that Chelsea would. And as soon as the marriage is legal, I assume she will let her full crazy fly. Because I’m of the opinion she is acting on her absolute best behavior between this point in filming and the ceremony, as she knows that Jimmy is a flight risk. And he should be. If anyone reading this is experiencing that kind of tumult with your partner, please take a moment and ask yourself why you are putting up with it. Because that is not love, blind or not. It’s a hostage crisis.
One last note on Jimmy and Chelsea: watching them interact at the lake party was a nonstop masterclass in cringe. The fact that Jimmy was so insulted — he was not joking — when Chelsea referred to Johnny & Amy as the No. 1 couple in the group — queen. Girl. Baby. You have GOT to be kidding me. The two of you have had at least three Chernobyl moments on this show that we have SEEN, and you’re going to get butthurt that someone acknowledges that comparatively, one of the other couples has its shit WAY more together? Maybe Jimmy and Chelsea DO deserve each other…
Jeramey & Laura
These two are officially donezo, and it was one of the more acrimonious splits we’ve seen on this show. After the blow-up we saw in Episode 9, Laura left their apartment and never went back. Jeramey attempted to call and text and even send flowers, and Laura would hear absolutely none of it. The two of them were unhappily reunited at the lake party, where Laura immediately lit into Jeramey and would not let up. There is absolutely no chance at the two of them reconciling.
In truth, I think they’re both to blame for that. Jeramey was a Class-A tool for staying out until 5:30 a.m. with the other woman in his love triangle. There’s no defense for it, and although he is a man child, I cannot believe he did not know that such an action would cost him this relationship. Even his own mother told him so. On the other hand, Jeramey was correct that Laura’s stubbornness made any attempt at moving past the problem impossible. We saw that behavior start to emerge from her over the course of this season, and that inability to yield, coupled with her mean streak — which was real apparent this episode — says to me that she, too, is not ready for any kind of serious relationship. She wants it her way, all the time, but you can also tell she would never respect a man who let her walk all over him. Her own parents even made a reference to that. Laura needs to log off social media and log into therapy, for real.
Therapy will not fix Jeramey. He is a manchild. Who allegedly was literally engaged when he signed up to do this show. I suspect he deliberately self-sabotaged this relationship with Laura because he didn’t want to stop playing the field. And I’m sure once he finished playing in Sarah Ann’s field, he’ll be right on to the next. Jeramey is a fuckboy, plain and simple, and literally nothing is ever going to change that behavior.
One last note: it is a bit of karmic justice for Laura, who a few episodes ago was encouraging Jessica to reach out to Jimmy, to absolutely lose her mind over Jeramey interacting with her former pod love interest. That scene between Laura and Jessica is going to get a lot of comments at the reunion, I’m sure.
The Lake Party
The party at the lake brought together not only the surviving couples, but also a slew of the Pod People who made an impact one way or another on the main characters of the season. In addition to love-triangle participants Jessica, Trevor, and Sarah Ann, we also got McKenzie, who I don’t think we saw in the pod portion at all, but who was apparently involved with the Chelsea/Jimmy drama after the fact. Even Matthew got a mention, although he’s long gone. I’m still fascinated by what that dude’s deal was.
We did get several excellent scenes from this event. My personal favorite was AD absolutely GATHERING that asshole Sarah Ann, who kept trying to weasel out of taking any responsibility for trying to start things back up with Jeramey as soon as they got out of the pods, when she knew he was engaged to another woman. Sarah Ann is correct that she deserved to have her feelings heard. But had the roles been reversed, and she was the woman who was picked and Laura had sent a message trying to reopen dialogue with Jeramey post-pods, you know Sarah Ann would have lost her shit, too. AD firmly put Sarah Ann in her place, and in the end, Jeramey comforted her the only way a true middle-schooler could: by racing around the lake on jetskis like a bunch of sociopaths.
Chelsea and Trevor had an interesting conversation, in which Trevor continually soft dunked on Chelsea and tried to gain pity points for being rejected by him. But in case you don’t know, social media has also exposed Trevor for the obvious fraud he is. As proven via screenshots of texts, photos, etc., Trevor had a long-term girlfriend the whole time he filmed this show, and he was promising her — again, we have texts to corroborate this — that he had absolutely no interest in marrying anyone on the show, he was just using it to get famous. And here he is, acting like a wounded puppy, guilt-tripping a woman he was going to use and cast away once it ended. (Which he seems to have done to his then-girlfriend, since all those texts have become public.) Is literally every single man on this season a sociopath? I knew Trevor was too good to be true. I knew it! Guys do not look like he does, act like he acted in the pods, and then have social media accounts that are nothing but thirst traps and desperate plays for attention. I hope he is brought to the reunion so he can be grilled. Preferably wearing as little possible. At least make it worth our time, show. I’m fine objectifying a douchebag.
But the most interesting conversation came from Jessica and Jimmy. I’ve been pretty rough on Jimmy in my recaps. I stand by my takes, and I do seriously question how much of his relationship with Chelsea is genuine, and how much of it is a facade to appear like a good guy on television. But this conversation with Jessica showed remarkable maturity from both of them. I appreciated both of them accepting their faults in the situation, and supporting one another, without crossing a line — well, most lines. I’m quite confident that Chelsea did not love hearing Jimmy say to Jessica, “In reality, you’re still my No. 1.” It’s possible that was taken out of context. It’s possible that’s not what he was trying to say. But regardless, if I was his fiancee/wife and I saw that footage, I would be justifiably pretty furious. Especially because I believe that IS the truth. If Jessica did not have a child, I honestly believe Jimmy would have proposed to her. Perhaps I’m wrong and that’s just what the show wants me to think. But it is what I think.
NEXT: The finale! Who will get married? Will all three couples make it to the altar? Who do you think will actually say “I do”? Leave your guesses in the comments.
