TOP 10: Selina Meyer “VEEP” Quotes

January 4, 2024

BY Bob Erlenback

It has been nearly five years since HBO’s “VEEP” left our screens, but the comedy series’ biting commentary still remains current. Love her or hate her, Selina Meyer still brings to life a chilling portrayal of today’s politics. The funniest part about this character is we never know which party she is aligned with. It skewers both, and maybe shows us that someone’s personal ambitions sometimes transcend party or ideals. Have I cheered you up yet?

We take a look back on the best Selina Meyers lines from the series and wonder, Was she right? Sometimes.  


Best HBO Original Series

Best 90s Sitcom

Best “Golden Girls” Episode

10. A Complicated Day

Quite possibly the quote that started it all and let us know that “VEEP” was going to be something special!

“The level of incompetence in this office is STAG-ER-RING.”

9. Keeping This Brief

Selina says the thing we all want to say.

“Why don’t you put on your running shoes and get to the fucking point?”

8. Some Melodramatic Bullshit

Selina knew what she wanted. Maybe this is why we love her?

“Being Vice President is like being declawed, defanged, neutered, ball-gagged, and sealed in an abandoned coal mine under two miles of human shit! It is a fate worse than death! Besides, I’m not gonna die, ’cause I’ve got the heart and the twat of a high school cheerleader who’s only done anal!”

7. You May Get Wet

Selina is never ever one to mince words…

Gary: “How about a hot soak with a Laura Mercier bath bomb?”

Selina: “Is it gonna explode between my legs and make me cսm until I cry?”

Gary: “I think it’s peppermint.”

6. Don’t Forget Your PIN


She clocked this one.

“If men got pregnant, you could get an abortion at an ATM.”

5. Suckling at the Teat

Her contempt for the people she served can’t be overstated.

Selina: “Okay, so they want me to go to a pig roast to meet a bunch of men who probably took turns to fuck the pig before they roasted it?”
Amy: “I wouldn’t presume they took turns.”

4. Never Meet Your Heroes

Selina understood the electorate.

“I’ve met some people, okay, real people, and I gotta tell ya, a lot of ’em are fucking idiots.”

3. Don’t Stress Out

She is unapologetic for who she is.

“Don’t give me that quaker in a titty bar look.”

2. Get Me Something, Anything

Selina knows how to explain things so they make sense.

“That’s like trying to use a croissant as a fucking dildo. No, no, no, let me be more clear.  It doesn’t do the job, and it makes a FUCKING MESS!”

1. So Proud

I know, you’re thinking, “This is No. 1?”  But this cute little throw away recurring line from season one makes me giggle every time. Also, I think it says more about who she is than we realized!

“Did you know that I have my own flag?”

Honorable Mention: All of This!

“Okie dokie, Annie Oakley.”

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