Top 10: Super Hero Thirst Traps

October 20, 2023

BY Eric Rezsnyak

While working on our episode devoted to the Best Super Hero Film, the GPCD panel remarked that there have been a lot of fine menseses who have brought to life some of comic books’ most iconic super heroes. And that’s no small task! The bulging muscles, the spandex costumes, and the raw masculine energy captured in those comics are literally the stuff of legend. But Hollywood has succeeded in casting stars who believably portray these modern myths.

Below find our list of the Top 10 Super Hero Thirst Traps. Note that we focused on live-action film and TV, and we stuck entirely to the good guys. Maybe we’ll do a bad-guy version in the future!

10. Tom Holland as the MCU Spider-Man

The twink everyone at home can agree on! Absolutely no disrespect to Tobey Maguire, and especially no disrespect to the very attractive Andrew Garfield, but Tom Holland fully embodies the adorable geekiness of Peter Parker as well as his tight, tight body. Spectacular job, casting team.

9. Simu Liu as Shang-Chi

Simu Liu brings both cockiness, flexibility, AND hotness to his role as the Marvel Comics martial-arts master. Allegedly there was backlash to his casting in China, as apparently Chinese citizens felt he wasn’t attractive enough. To which I say, Do you not have eyes? Do you not have a head? Liu is both hot and has swagger, and he can put any number of his 10 rings on it.

8. Charlie Cox as Daredevil

In the comic books, Matt Murdock/Daredevil is a total player, which I’m sure does nothing for his good ol’ Catholic guilt. In the dearly departed Netflix Daredevil series, and in She-Hulk and the upcoming Disney+ reboot, Charlie Cox is SCORCHING hot. He is actually way hotter than I ever pictured Matt to be from the comics, and certainly a big step up from the dreadful Affleck version of the character. 10/10 superhero fuckboy material.

7. Chris Pratt as Star-Lord/Peter Quill

Pratt has become incredibly divisive in pop culture, and the Guardians franchise lingered longer than it probably should have given behind-the-scenes studio drama. But it’s important to remember the collective internet “WOAH!” that occurred when Chris Pratt’s shirtless scene from the first Guardians film (above) was released in the trailer. Putting aside his polarizing personal life, he’s great in this role, and he is highly bangable in at least the first two films.

6. Jason Momoa as Aquaman

Momoa’s casting was a massive departure from the comic-book source material, which typically features a squeaky-clean blonde dude in bright orange and green. (Yes, I know he had a grungier long-haired period in the 90s, which is almost certainly what opened the door to the Momoa interpretation.) But his aesthetic was so well received by the general public that the comic version now reflects his — shirtless, tattooed, long haired, brooding. We are not complaining! If we were sea horses, we’d let him ride us too!

5. Mike Colter as Luke Cage

First, let me say that the lack of shirtless gifs of Mike Colter from Netflix’s Luke Cage series is a SIN. Second, Colter is not only only a beautiful man, but he also fully brings Luke Cage’s confidence and quiet compassion to the screen brilliantly. Another perfect casting for the Marvel Netflix shows — they got 4/5 of their leads dead on, sorry Iron Fist — we would welcome Luke back in the MCU. He’s got the power, man.

4. Hugh Jackman as Wolverine

Arguably the first movie super-hero thirst trap, Hugh Jackman was a relative unknown when he was thrust into stardom with his highly anticipated portrayal of Wolverine in the first X-Men movie. While Jackman is sexy in his first rodeo, he gets progressively hotter as the films — and the solo Wolverine spinoffs — go along, up until Logan. And even there, he’s still Daddy AF, even if he is an absolute mess. We look forward to seeing him in his full technicolor costume silliness in the upcoming Deadpool 3. Whoever replaces him in the role when Wolverine inevitably comes to the MCU has very big claws to fill. We hope he’s the best he is at what he does…

3. Chris Evans as Captain America

Chris Evans actually gave us two super-hero thirst traps. His best known is, of course, America’s Ass aka Steve Rogers aka Captain America. I initially planned to put the iconic Cap reveal gif, of his absolutely swole form emerging from the Super Soldier lab bed. But then I remembered this incredible gif from The Winter Soldier, which was arguably life changing. Cap can be a boring character, but in Evans’ hands, he was anything but. He was the heart of the Avengers, and in certain other scenes, he was several other organs that swell. Bonus, let’s not forget this scorching gif of Evans as Human Torch in the Fantastic Four films:

2. Chris Hemsworth as Thor

In the comics, Thor is a wall of flesh. He’s massive. Imposing. He is a literal god! Could any mere mortal believably bring him to life on the big screen? Chris Hemsworth can, and watching him expand his range within the role for the past decade or so has been a real treat. It’s important to remember than many gods were canonically sluts. I choose to believe that Hemsworth’s Thor was one of them. Hammer away, Odinson!

1. Henry Cavill as Superman

Henry Cavill was done so dirty by the DCU, and specifically by Zack Snyder. He was an excellent Superman — different from the Christopher Reeve version, but still very good. God knows he PHYSICALLY encapsulated the part brilliantly. And yet he never got a single good film in his 10-year run as the character from 2013’s Man of Steel through his cameo in 2022’s Black Adam. How does that happen? Regardless, while the films he appeared in may have stunk, they did give us plenty of quality shirtless gifs. We’ll close out this list with a sampling of some of my favorites. It’s not a bird. It’s not a plane. It is 100% certified beefcake. It simply does not get better than this.

Did we miss your favorite super-hero thirst trap? Drop a comment below, then check out our other Top 10 lists by clicking here.

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